Vacation continued…
So after my unsuccessful trip to the beach, I went to the mall to fight boredom. DH wasn’t coming home for a few hours and I thought about going to see “New Moon” but none of the theatre times worked out right. I bought my first maternity clothes during this shopping trip prompted by boredom. I picked up a tank top and a dress, both on sale at Mother Maternity. They had a little pillow belly to put on in the dressing room to visual what you would look like with a belly. I won’t be able to wear the two items for a while because it is way too cold still. I’m wondering if I should even buy any winter maternity clothes. I’m not really going to buy anything until I actually need them in an effort to save money. Also, I was thinking I might look on Craigslist. You can get good collections of maternity clothes for cheap on there. Like 10-15 articles of clothing for $50, which is pretty good.
Christmas and Christmas Eve went off without a hitch. Christmas Eve, we went over my parents house during the day to have lunch and decorate a gingerbread house with my Aunt Louise. My Aunt Louise is mentally challenged and has the mental capacity of an eight-year old. She lives in a group home. Ever since my Grandmother passed away over 3 ½ years ago, it has been a struggle of where she would live. My Grandmother left a rather a large inheritance (in the millions) to my uncles and my aunt. Also, they have a house they bought in the 1950s that is a very valuable piece of property in Florida worth millions of dollars. The house is not worth much, but the land is gulf-front property amongst million dollar homes. She wanted my aunt to be taken care of since she can’t take care of herself. My parents tried to advocate for her to try to live by herself with some assistance that would come every day. This is what she wanted. However, my two uncles were completely obstinate and refused to even try this. They wanted to put her in a group home that they would use her inheritance to build and then she would live for free. It was the cheaper option because it was a one-time investment. After a court battle and much debate, my uncles won and my aunt moved in the group home, where she has been miserable ever since. It’s a sad situation that I really can’t do anything about. My Dad is estranged from my uncles and I don’t know what to think.
I wish they had acted in my Aunt’s best interest, but I really don’t want to cut them out of my life. Out of all my extended family, I was the closest with my two uncles and my aunts and my cousins on my Dad’s side. I keep in touch with my Aunt Barbara the most through e-mail because she is not involved in this whole thing. I wish that things were different and I could still be close with them but our relationship is strained. They’ve never met DH, although I’ve talked about him a lot to them. I told them we were expecting and they were of course thrilled. I am thankful that I have DH’s family, because I love how close they are and I miss that extended family feeling. My Mom’s side is spread all over the country and we have never really been that close with them due to sheer geographic distance.
We split Christmas Day with DH’s family and my family. It was nice at my parent’s place, much more relaxing than DH’s house, no dogs or cranky old men running around. We had a nice Christmas dinner. I did realize something though that I would never tell my Mom. I always loved my Mom’s cooking growing up. But now I realize I love DH’s cooking way more. We like to make things from scratch and make sure there are good flavors integrated in. My mom comes from the Midwest style of cooking where you keep things cheap, filling, and tasty. It’s completely understandable that she would cook like this considering she grew up rather poor with 8 brothers and sisters. We like being adventurous with our flavors and taking the extra time, especially for big meals to make sure something tastes spectacular.
So one big bonus of driving to Florida was the ability to take bulky things back with us. We received a lot of presents that if we had flown we would have been SOL, considering we had to pay $15 just to check one bag. We packed up the truck with lots of random stuff: my cleaned and preserved wedding dress, a used car seat, some random baby stuff, and lots of presents. Luckily, no rain for predicted for the drive home so we didn’t have to use a tarp. We left Saturday morning and reached Charleston around 4:30ish. We had booked a room earlier in the week, because we didn’t feel like driving the whole way back and wanted to make a little mini-trip out of our trip. We stayed the night at a Radisson near the airport because it was like $80. I had been to Charleston once when I was younger with my parents. We ate dinner at a place we had seen on the Travel Channel that had good Southern cooking called The Hominy Grill. It was a really yummy, authentic and not too pricey dinner. Then we wondered around the chilly, empty streets trying to find a nice place to listen to some jazz. Charleston is really a nice quaint little town with beautiful historic houses and lovely alleyways. I wish we could have seen it during the daytime. We found an Italian restaurant and settled in. I was a cheap date the whole night, ordering soda water and lime or juice. I drove back to the hotel around 10ish and we had some long overdue hotel sex…
The rest of the week has passed uneventfully. DH has been ill and it has been freezing so we’ve been staying indoors. I told myself I was going to go to yoga class yesterday to try out my new yoga mat, but I just couldn’t inspire myself. We’ve been so lazy that we’ve been getting into bed around 8:30-9PM to get warm and just watching tv until we’re too tired to stay up. New couches will be coming on Saturday and I can hardly wait! They will be comfy and wonderful and it is very exciting. We’ve never had nice couches before so it really is a step up. We’re getting a sleeper sofa, loveseat, and an armchair all for $1260! I got them to knock off $240 from $1500 after I called and wanted them to cancel my order so I could order them online for much less than what we paid. Instead they said they would honor the online price.
This new years I will be spending solo I think because DH is still sick and isn't up for going to my friend Emily's place as we had planned. He'll probably be asleep by midnight so there is not point in me staying home with him. Sad, but c'est la vie...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Less than 200 days…
Oh boy, this baby is coming at least I think it is. I’m still having those crazy pregnancy doubts that anything is actually happening in my body. But I haven’t had any cramping or spotting so I should assume that everything is going fine in there. The lack of symptoms has thrown me off a little. I have minimal morning sickness. Last week when I was lounging with family and eating crap, I had none and began to question whether I was pregnant at all. For some reason, I only feel nauseous at work. I am a little more irritable lately, so I guess I can blame that on pregnancy…We have our next appointment on Monday and I really hope we get to hear the heartbeat. That would be wonderful. I don’t see why we shouldn’t but they didn’t mention anything at the last appointment. We’ll see how this appointment goes, I might try to find a new O.B. if they don’t do a better job of answering my questions. But I need to make sure to come in with a list of questions.
So our vacation did not quite turn out as we expected. A huge snow storm (20 inches) hit our area the day we were supposed to leave. That is more snow than they have seen in over 20 years and more than we get most winters total. We rebooked our flight as soon as we could. It would have been nice if the stupid airline would have let us rebook it for Friday and we could have avoided the snowstorm entirely but no, they have to screw people over so we rebooked as late in the day Sunday as we could.
DH and I went out to dinner that Friday and went to see a movie “An Education.” We wanted to see “Up in the Air” but for some unknown reason it was pulled from theaters. The movie was pretty good and I loved the fashion and scenes of 1960s London and Paris. After dinner, the snow had already started and I had quite a hard time getting up the hill that would take us back to our place thanks to some stupid cab that caused me to stop on my way up the hill.
Saturday the snow fell and fell some more. We ventured out on foot in midday to go return my library book and grab lunch. There was already at least 7-8 inches on the ground. It was fun to get all bundled up and see our neighborhood covered in snow. Later on that day we went out again just to see how deep it was and take lots of pictures. We went to bed worried about our flight and how the heck we were going to get to the airport. The next morning, the snow finally stopped and we finished packing. I had to beg one of our neighbors who had already dug their car out of the snow to give us ride to the airport which was about 15 minutes away. So I gave her a generous $30 to drive us to airport. We get to the airport early and about 20 minutes later we get through the line and find out our flight is cancelled. We had been checking it all morning and it had been on time. (Of course I had an inkling this was going to happen considering I couldn’t find our flight on the board, it would have been nice if they had actually had our flight there and said it was cancelled). No flights until after Christmas….Crap! So we had the choice to add our names to the long list of people on standby or just give up on the whole flying thing. That’s when we made the decision to drive. We got back from the airport where cabs were apparently running and dug out our truck. That was fun considering we didn’t have a snow shovel. One of our neighbors took pity on us and let us use theirs after they were done. So we dug it all out which took about an hour and headed off. We hit some traffic about 20 miles from DC and after a short detour, we were on our way. 13 and a half hours later (around 1:30AM) we got to BIL’s house near Tampa!
The rest of the vacation was mostly uneventful. It was nice enough and relaxing. Seeing my parents was good and catching up with friends was good. To be honest I found myself bored a lot of the time that I was staying with my inlaws. We didn’t do enough things to get out of the house and I got sick of the endless pregnancy questions. SIL was in a bad mood most of the trip because she is getting m/s pretty bad. I really enjoyed spending time with my little BIL and chatting with my other BIL, he cracks me up. Little BIL, let’s call him Tommy, is 1 ½ and FIL’s child with his second wife. He’s cute and fun. He was very shy though especially around DH. He doesn’t get out a lot since FIL’s wife doesn’t drive. She is from the Philippines and very sweet, but the whole relationship is very odd. BIL/SIL basically told us that they met through a pen pal/mail order bride kind of thing. She is 20 years younger than FIL and stays home all day with GMIL and her beau of 20 years who live in the same house. GMIL has been with Nelson for 20 years but they’re not married. He is a curmudgeonly old man who never really talks to me and plays the television way too loud. He makes rude comments and everyone just trys to ignore him.
I had one day to myself when DH went golfing with his brother and friend. It was nice. I thought about driving to my parents place to hang out with them, but it’s a long drive and I was lazy. So I ran a couple last minute Christmas shopping errands and grabbed lunch with the beach being my ultimate destination. I decided to get my H1N1 shot. I had been delaying this and it was so easy in FL so I went to Walgreen’s and waited 20 minutes and voila, I was done. It’s crazy how different it was there. They don’t have them in pharmacies any more and they have clinics at random places where you have to wait forever. It was nice to get it done easily with no hassle. The beach was a wash. I got there and it was windy and cold. The weather had changed drastically from the morning when I had gone for my run. In an effort to break up my blog entries, I will end this one here and maybe write some more later today…
So our vacation did not quite turn out as we expected. A huge snow storm (20 inches) hit our area the day we were supposed to leave. That is more snow than they have seen in over 20 years and more than we get most winters total. We rebooked our flight as soon as we could. It would have been nice if the stupid airline would have let us rebook it for Friday and we could have avoided the snowstorm entirely but no, they have to screw people over so we rebooked as late in the day Sunday as we could.
DH and I went out to dinner that Friday and went to see a movie “An Education.” We wanted to see “Up in the Air” but for some unknown reason it was pulled from theaters. The movie was pretty good and I loved the fashion and scenes of 1960s London and Paris. After dinner, the snow had already started and I had quite a hard time getting up the hill that would take us back to our place thanks to some stupid cab that caused me to stop on my way up the hill.
Saturday the snow fell and fell some more. We ventured out on foot in midday to go return my library book and grab lunch. There was already at least 7-8 inches on the ground. It was fun to get all bundled up and see our neighborhood covered in snow. Later on that day we went out again just to see how deep it was and take lots of pictures. We went to bed worried about our flight and how the heck we were going to get to the airport. The next morning, the snow finally stopped and we finished packing. I had to beg one of our neighbors who had already dug their car out of the snow to give us ride to the airport which was about 15 minutes away. So I gave her a generous $30 to drive us to airport. We get to the airport early and about 20 minutes later we get through the line and find out our flight is cancelled. We had been checking it all morning and it had been on time. (Of course I had an inkling this was going to happen considering I couldn’t find our flight on the board, it would have been nice if they had actually had our flight there and said it was cancelled). No flights until after Christmas….Crap! So we had the choice to add our names to the long list of people on standby or just give up on the whole flying thing. That’s when we made the decision to drive. We got back from the airport where cabs were apparently running and dug out our truck. That was fun considering we didn’t have a snow shovel. One of our neighbors took pity on us and let us use theirs after they were done. So we dug it all out which took about an hour and headed off. We hit some traffic about 20 miles from DC and after a short detour, we were on our way. 13 and a half hours later (around 1:30AM) we got to BIL’s house near Tampa!
The rest of the vacation was mostly uneventful. It was nice enough and relaxing. Seeing my parents was good and catching up with friends was good. To be honest I found myself bored a lot of the time that I was staying with my inlaws. We didn’t do enough things to get out of the house and I got sick of the endless pregnancy questions. SIL was in a bad mood most of the trip because she is getting m/s pretty bad. I really enjoyed spending time with my little BIL and chatting with my other BIL, he cracks me up. Little BIL, let’s call him Tommy, is 1 ½ and FIL’s child with his second wife. He’s cute and fun. He was very shy though especially around DH. He doesn’t get out a lot since FIL’s wife doesn’t drive. She is from the Philippines and very sweet, but the whole relationship is very odd. BIL/SIL basically told us that they met through a pen pal/mail order bride kind of thing. She is 20 years younger than FIL and stays home all day with GMIL and her beau of 20 years who live in the same house. GMIL has been with Nelson for 20 years but they’re not married. He is a curmudgeonly old man who never really talks to me and plays the television way too loud. He makes rude comments and everyone just trys to ignore him.
I had one day to myself when DH went golfing with his brother and friend. It was nice. I thought about driving to my parents place to hang out with them, but it’s a long drive and I was lazy. So I ran a couple last minute Christmas shopping errands and grabbed lunch with the beach being my ultimate destination. I decided to get my H1N1 shot. I had been delaying this and it was so easy in FL so I went to Walgreen’s and waited 20 minutes and voila, I was done. It’s crazy how different it was there. They don’t have them in pharmacies any more and they have clinics at random places where you have to wait forever. It was nice to get it done easily with no hassle. The beach was a wash. I got there and it was windy and cold. The weather had changed drastically from the morning when I had gone for my run. In an effort to break up my blog entries, I will end this one here and maybe write some more later today…
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I love you snow...but come on!
So our trip to FL for Christmas is imminent and DH and I are both excited. However there is one snafu. We’re supposed to get a decent sized snow-storm Saturday and our flight is scheduled for Saturday afternoon. It certainly is worrisome. I’m worried our flight will be delayed or cancelled (most likely the latter.) I got in touch with AirTran to see if there is any way we can get an earlier flight. DH and I both have off tomorrow so we could easily leave tomorrow and our family will not mind having us in town for an extra day. They said that they have to issue a weather advisory first and then we can change it with out paying the extra fees. I really hope that this is done within a timely fashion. It would awesome if somehow we could get a flight out tomorrow night or afternoon. Of course, we would have to cancel our ice skating/dinner plans tomorrow, but it would be worth it.
It’s kind of sad though, because I love snow and wish that I could be looking forward to this snow storm instead of dreading it. We don’t get a lot of snow so I relish it when we do. Also, if we can leave before it hits, then we won’t get to enjoy it.
It would really stink if we couldn’t fly out until Sunday or even Monday. That would really cut into our time with our families. We planned this trip specifically to be longer because we never felt like we had enough time to enjoy spending time with both families.
So I’ve been doing a lot more thinking about labor and all that jazz. DH is completely unaware of how difficult giving birth actually is. I’m trying to tell him that it is not as easy as just saying I’m going to have a natural birth and doing it. I would like to definitely pursue the Bradley Method classes and possibly a doula. I still need to explain that concept to him fully. I’m kind of worried about the cost, because things are starting to add up. We need a “new” car before the baby comes. I’m really excited because we’re going to buy new couches after the holidays. I can’t wait!! The couches that we have now are functional, but in reality their pieces of crap. I’m so excited to get couches that we can plop down on comfortably and that will be able to accommodate guests sleeping on them.
The thing is we can afford most of this. I just put another $1500 in Savings reaching a grand total of $9400! This is just since July. We should be able to add in some more after our trip home hopefully reaching $10,000. I’m really proud of us that we’ve made such a turnaround in our finances since we got married. Our down payment for our car will come out of this. It’s just a question of how much. I want to have a nice emergency fund. Even though, I really don’t think either of our jobs are in question. But now that we have a child coming we can’t just think about Justin (DH) and me. I think I’m going to start using Justin because I’m tired of using DH. We have to be financially responsible and smart for the little one.
So it turns out that I’m going to be an aunt. BIL/SIL are due a few weeks after us. I’m excited that we will all get to go through this together. But I am relieved that she is not due before me. It’s really childish, but because I don’t want them to steal my thunder. We announced it to everyone first. They already announced it on FB yesterday so I guess for that reason I’m happy that we already spilled the beans, because otherwise it would look like we were trying to copy them or something. The timing is odd on this whole thing, but it will all turn out well. My parents are so thrilled that will be enough gushing for both families. I hope my Dad is able to get a job before the baby comes. He’s been unemployed since May (laid off). They haven’t been able to visit us since we moved into our new apartment and I know they want to visit when we have the baby, but my Dad is weird about things and he would want a hotel, so the trip would be expensive. We’ll have to see what happens.
It’s kind of sad though, because I love snow and wish that I could be looking forward to this snow storm instead of dreading it. We don’t get a lot of snow so I relish it when we do. Also, if we can leave before it hits, then we won’t get to enjoy it.
It would really stink if we couldn’t fly out until Sunday or even Monday. That would really cut into our time with our families. We planned this trip specifically to be longer because we never felt like we had enough time to enjoy spending time with both families.
So I’ve been doing a lot more thinking about labor and all that jazz. DH is completely unaware of how difficult giving birth actually is. I’m trying to tell him that it is not as easy as just saying I’m going to have a natural birth and doing it. I would like to definitely pursue the Bradley Method classes and possibly a doula. I still need to explain that concept to him fully. I’m kind of worried about the cost, because things are starting to add up. We need a “new” car before the baby comes. I’m really excited because we’re going to buy new couches after the holidays. I can’t wait!! The couches that we have now are functional, but in reality their pieces of crap. I’m so excited to get couches that we can plop down on comfortably and that will be able to accommodate guests sleeping on them.
The thing is we can afford most of this. I just put another $1500 in Savings reaching a grand total of $9400! This is just since July. We should be able to add in some more after our trip home hopefully reaching $10,000. I’m really proud of us that we’ve made such a turnaround in our finances since we got married. Our down payment for our car will come out of this. It’s just a question of how much. I want to have a nice emergency fund. Even though, I really don’t think either of our jobs are in question. But now that we have a child coming we can’t just think about Justin (DH) and me. I think I’m going to start using Justin because I’m tired of using DH. We have to be financially responsible and smart for the little one.
So it turns out that I’m going to be an aunt. BIL/SIL are due a few weeks after us. I’m excited that we will all get to go through this together. But I am relieved that she is not due before me. It’s really childish, but because I don’t want them to steal my thunder. We announced it to everyone first. They already announced it on FB yesterday so I guess for that reason I’m happy that we already spilled the beans, because otherwise it would look like we were trying to copy them or something. The timing is odd on this whole thing, but it will all turn out well. My parents are so thrilled that will be enough gushing for both families. I hope my Dad is able to get a job before the baby comes. He’s been unemployed since May (laid off). They haven’t been able to visit us since we moved into our new apartment and I know they want to visit when we have the baby, but my Dad is weird about things and he would want a hotel, so the trip would be expensive. We’ll have to see what happens.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday returns and so does my generalized anxiety over hating my job and having a child. It’s weird how it comes every Monday morning and I start worrying about all the wonderful responsibilities that come with having a child. I forget that DH and I will be expanding our family and that we will have a little one to raise and love as our own. I really do feel like an adult now that we have a little one on the way.
Friday, I went with DH to his office Christmas Party at a local restaurant. DH had already spilled the beans to everyone at work so everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which was nice and a little annoying because I had answer the same questions like 20 times. This lady who was sitting next to us was kind of annoyingly talkative and drunk which worsened the situation. Also, all the people that DH is closest to (and that I know best) ended up sitting at the other table which was a little annoying.
Saturday morning, we had our last flag football game. We lost and I was disappointed in how I played. The ground was really hard and slick and I fell a few times on my knees (ouch!). They are still sore. The game was close and we could have won, but it just didn’t happen in the end. I’m happy that the season is over and I don’t have to worry about playing anymore. Once again, if I hadn’t been there this weekend we would have had to forfeit, because we needed two girls and the other two girls on the team were injured. I had a lot of fun playing and will be sad when they do a spring league and I won’t be able to play. I told DH that I would come and watch him play and cheer on the team.
We went to a local bar after the game to celebrate the season. I did win in shuffleboard so I wasn’t a complete loser that day. Later that evening we had people over for a potluck and to exchange Secret Santa gifts. It turned out pretty well. We ended up playing a few games: Scene it and Trivial Pursuit. The teams were evenly matched so that turned out well. The downside of the evening was after everyone had left DH got kind of drunk and was not very considerate of me trying to go to bed. He was loud, chatting with his friends on the phone and listening to music. Then later when I got up to pee, I found him passed out on the couch with all the lights and the television on. I turned off the lights and the t.v. and told him to come to bed. He refused to get up. Then 5 minutes later he wanders into the bedroom and turns on the lights very quickly and then turns them off and comes to bed. I told him I was annoyed with him the next morning. Of course, he apologized profusely and but of course like always he doesn’t remember any of it. This is not the first time that he acts kind of stupid when drunk and doesn’t remember it. It’s annoying reoccurrence that happens maybe once a month. I don’t really know what to do about it because it is not like it’s every night or every weekend. It’s just once in a while. He gets drunk and acts kind of stupid, not abusive or even mean, just annoyingly stupid. Maybe I just need to ask him not to get so drunk that he acts stupid. We discussed it some, but I usually let it go after he apologizes a bunch.
DH had an upsetting morning so I let it go after a little while. He was chatting with his Mom about Christmas presents, the baby, etc. He goes into the other room and finishes his conversation. He comes out about 10-15 minutes later and I notice an immediate difference. I ask him if everything is ok and he says yes and then I ask him what was up with his Mom and other stuff. Then, he breaks down and starts crying. While his Mom is a very nice lady, she does not make the best financial decisions. She just bought a trailer in Maine and is in the process of moving there from New Hampshire. Money is very tight because she is transitioning to a new job and her H is still living in New Hampshire working at his job. He felt really bad bugging her about when she was going to send our Christmas gifts because she finally explained to him that she hadn’t sent them yet because she couldn’t afford the postage. Also, I asked if she would send me some of the yummy peppermint bark that she makes for the holidays. She apologized to DH that she couldn’t afford the ingredients. Of course, DH told her that none of that stuff was important and for her not to worry about it.
Basically, he realized how desperate her situation really is and it is a hard reality to face, that your mother is really poor. I tried to comfort him and asked him if he wanted to send some of his bonus money to his Mom. I also explained to him that his Mom’s situation will get better. She just moved and will start a new job in a few weeks and then she’ll be in a better situation. I felt bad for him, because I’ve only seen him cry a few times and it must be hard for him to see his Mom in this situation. So we sent a check to his Mom with her Christmas card, that hopefully she will cash. The money that we sent her ($300) would have gone in savings, but this month we have a lot of extra cash coming in. Also, since we weren’t even expecting that bonus and DH earned it, I feel fine giving it to MIL. I told DH that it is fine to help family out if we can afford it and as long as it is not a monthly occurrence.
Friday, I went with DH to his office Christmas Party at a local restaurant. DH had already spilled the beans to everyone at work so everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which was nice and a little annoying because I had answer the same questions like 20 times. This lady who was sitting next to us was kind of annoyingly talkative and drunk which worsened the situation. Also, all the people that DH is closest to (and that I know best) ended up sitting at the other table which was a little annoying.
Saturday morning, we had our last flag football game. We lost and I was disappointed in how I played. The ground was really hard and slick and I fell a few times on my knees (ouch!). They are still sore. The game was close and we could have won, but it just didn’t happen in the end. I’m happy that the season is over and I don’t have to worry about playing anymore. Once again, if I hadn’t been there this weekend we would have had to forfeit, because we needed two girls and the other two girls on the team were injured. I had a lot of fun playing and will be sad when they do a spring league and I won’t be able to play. I told DH that I would come and watch him play and cheer on the team.
We went to a local bar after the game to celebrate the season. I did win in shuffleboard so I wasn’t a complete loser that day. Later that evening we had people over for a potluck and to exchange Secret Santa gifts. It turned out pretty well. We ended up playing a few games: Scene it and Trivial Pursuit. The teams were evenly matched so that turned out well. The downside of the evening was after everyone had left DH got kind of drunk and was not very considerate of me trying to go to bed. He was loud, chatting with his friends on the phone and listening to music. Then later when I got up to pee, I found him passed out on the couch with all the lights and the television on. I turned off the lights and the t.v. and told him to come to bed. He refused to get up. Then 5 minutes later he wanders into the bedroom and turns on the lights very quickly and then turns them off and comes to bed. I told him I was annoyed with him the next morning. Of course, he apologized profusely and but of course like always he doesn’t remember any of it. This is not the first time that he acts kind of stupid when drunk and doesn’t remember it. It’s annoying reoccurrence that happens maybe once a month. I don’t really know what to do about it because it is not like it’s every night or every weekend. It’s just once in a while. He gets drunk and acts kind of stupid, not abusive or even mean, just annoyingly stupid. Maybe I just need to ask him not to get so drunk that he acts stupid. We discussed it some, but I usually let it go after he apologizes a bunch.
DH had an upsetting morning so I let it go after a little while. He was chatting with his Mom about Christmas presents, the baby, etc. He goes into the other room and finishes his conversation. He comes out about 10-15 minutes later and I notice an immediate difference. I ask him if everything is ok and he says yes and then I ask him what was up with his Mom and other stuff. Then, he breaks down and starts crying. While his Mom is a very nice lady, she does not make the best financial decisions. She just bought a trailer in Maine and is in the process of moving there from New Hampshire. Money is very tight because she is transitioning to a new job and her H is still living in New Hampshire working at his job. He felt really bad bugging her about when she was going to send our Christmas gifts because she finally explained to him that she hadn’t sent them yet because she couldn’t afford the postage. Also, I asked if she would send me some of the yummy peppermint bark that she makes for the holidays. She apologized to DH that she couldn’t afford the ingredients. Of course, DH told her that none of that stuff was important and for her not to worry about it.
Basically, he realized how desperate her situation really is and it is a hard reality to face, that your mother is really poor. I tried to comfort him and asked him if he wanted to send some of his bonus money to his Mom. I also explained to him that his Mom’s situation will get better. She just moved and will start a new job in a few weeks and then she’ll be in a better situation. I felt bad for him, because I’ve only seen him cry a few times and it must be hard for him to see his Mom in this situation. So we sent a check to his Mom with her Christmas card, that hopefully she will cash. The money that we sent her ($300) would have gone in savings, but this month we have a lot of extra cash coming in. Also, since we weren’t even expecting that bonus and DH earned it, I feel fine giving it to MIL. I told DH that it is fine to help family out if we can afford it and as long as it is not a monthly occurrence.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
So our second doctor’s appointment on Friday was pretty uneventful. They did blood and urine test, asked a number of questions. I wish that I had come there with more questions. I completely forgot to ask about the flu vaccines and they didn’t bring it up. After checking with my insurance, they don’t cover genetic testing that isn’t medically necessary. I don’t quite know what this means, but since we don’t have any history of downs syndrome in my family then they probably won’t cover it. My aunt is mentally challenged, but it is not Down’s syndrome as far as I know. We won’t have an ultrasound until 18-20 weeks, which feels so far away. I’m burning with a desire just to know what is going on and to know that everything is ok with the baby. I’m sure that’s typical of all new mothers. But I guess I’ve gotten to the point where I’m assuming no news is good news. I have mild symptoms. My boobs are much bigger, but my pants still fit the same. I’ve gained maybe 2 pounds which is probably the result of me eating all the time. I’m hungry most of the day and it takes a lot to satisfy my hunger. I don’t really like it very much because I’ve been supplementing my diet with sweets, which I’ve been craving non-stop. After the appointment, DH and I ran a few errands, which included buying some clear ornaments that we could decorate with paint.
I met my friend Christine in DC that afternoon to see a movie, “Precious.” As I knew it was going to be, the movie was very depressing but uplifting at the same time. It was nice to go to a movie, which I don’t do very often. Christine and I walked to Georgetown Cupcake to get a yummy cupcake after the movie. I wanted like 5 cupcakes but I restrained myself and only ordered one. It was damn good. I walked across the Key Bridge at dusk to get to the Metro. It has beautiful views of the city so it was nice to have some me time just walking around the city. Justin and I enjoyed a nice evening at home watching Slumdog Millionaire.
Saturday, we found out our flag football game had been cancelled due to the impending snow storm. It was a great day to just sit around and watch the snow fall. I caught up on some of Spanish lessons and DVRed shows. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but I was able to get a free subscription to Rosetta Stone through work, so I’m using it right now to learn Spanish! It’s a great program. I wish I could do it every night but I have a hard time finding time to do it. I want to get through all of the levels of Spanish (there are 5) and start a new language, but that’s probably a little ambitious until April when my subscription ends. Of course, I can always apply for it again. However, I really hope to be in a different job by then.
Sunday morning, I did some more language training when I went to a French workshop meet up in DC. It turned out really well. I was on a comparable level to some people and better than others. There were some really good speakers, but everyone was really nice and I understood most of what was said. It was great to practice speaking in small groups. I think I want to go on Rosetta Stone and practice some advanced French lessons too. After my workshop, I met DH at a bar in our neighborhood to watch both our teams lose frustratingly close games…It was fun until the end and then we both ended up annoyed. The best part about it was that there was no smoking in the bar! Starting December 1, 2009, smoking is banned in all VA bars and restaurants. Yay! DH and I used to go this bar on occasion, but always disliked how smoky it was. It was heaven sitting in there without my eyes watering and having trouble breathing. Of course, this is the most opportune time as now that I’m pregnant I won’t go anywhere near smoky bars.
My next appointment is not for a month and there won’t be u/s. I guess I was spoiled with the first one we had. I wanted reassurance that everything is ok. But I guess I will have to trust my body.
I met my friend Christine in DC that afternoon to see a movie, “Precious.” As I knew it was going to be, the movie was very depressing but uplifting at the same time. It was nice to go to a movie, which I don’t do very often. Christine and I walked to Georgetown Cupcake to get a yummy cupcake after the movie. I wanted like 5 cupcakes but I restrained myself and only ordered one. It was damn good. I walked across the Key Bridge at dusk to get to the Metro. It has beautiful views of the city so it was nice to have some me time just walking around the city. Justin and I enjoyed a nice evening at home watching Slumdog Millionaire.
Saturday, we found out our flag football game had been cancelled due to the impending snow storm. It was a great day to just sit around and watch the snow fall. I caught up on some of Spanish lessons and DVRed shows. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but I was able to get a free subscription to Rosetta Stone through work, so I’m using it right now to learn Spanish! It’s a great program. I wish I could do it every night but I have a hard time finding time to do it. I want to get through all of the levels of Spanish (there are 5) and start a new language, but that’s probably a little ambitious until April when my subscription ends. Of course, I can always apply for it again. However, I really hope to be in a different job by then.
Sunday morning, I did some more language training when I went to a French workshop meet up in DC. It turned out really well. I was on a comparable level to some people and better than others. There were some really good speakers, but everyone was really nice and I understood most of what was said. It was great to practice speaking in small groups. I think I want to go on Rosetta Stone and practice some advanced French lessons too. After my workshop, I met DH at a bar in our neighborhood to watch both our teams lose frustratingly close games…It was fun until the end and then we both ended up annoyed. The best part about it was that there was no smoking in the bar! Starting December 1, 2009, smoking is banned in all VA bars and restaurants. Yay! DH and I used to go this bar on occasion, but always disliked how smoky it was. It was heaven sitting in there without my eyes watering and having trouble breathing. Of course, this is the most opportune time as now that I’m pregnant I won’t go anywhere near smoky bars.
My next appointment is not for a month and there won’t be u/s. I guess I was spoiled with the first one we had. I wanted reassurance that everything is ok. But I guess I will have to trust my body.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Up and down…
So our trip to NJ went pretty good. It was fun and relaxing, but I was kind of bored for a lot of the time. There was a lot of down time and too many trips to the mall. Plus, it was kind of boring watching everyone drink and have fun, while I sat on the sidelines. Friday was the day we were supposed to go into Philly, but we ended up going to two different extremely packed malls. I had agreed to go with my SIL, DH’s cousin (Sara) and DH’s aunt because I wanted to get out of the house. (I will get to the house later) Well we went to Best Buy and then another mall. I don’t do well in crowds, but I was trying to stay calm and not freak out like I do sometimes when I’m with DH. I wasn’t really in the mood to buy anything so I just did a lot of window shopping with SIL and DH’s cousin. So we ended up going to another mall for some reason and that was just as crowded and I was bored again. Finally, we met the boys (DH, BIL, and Sara’s H) in Philly. They had already done the one thing that I had wanted to do, go to one of the famous Cheesesteak places. Luckily DH saved me half a sandwich so I got to have one. We went to a few bars wear I was again bored. I realized I’m a very shy person and I don’t have a lot in common with SIL and Sara. They’re very close and that’s great but I just don’t fit in as well.
Of course the entire trip everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which is nice but it led to lots of questions. DH’s aunt is very nice, but very inquisitive. There was one point where DH started explaining how I’m going to take two months off. But I corrected him because I hope to take two months off, but it’s not guaranteed. I’m dependent on getting donated leave from colleagues and my sister. He knew this because I explained it to him, but he acts like it’s all new to him….grrrr…Sometimes he just doesn’t listen to what I say or remember it. Then he goes on about how expensive daycare is, exaggerating the numbers based on what one of his coworkers pays. It just irritated me because this is not something that we need to be talking to his aunt about. It stresses me out. We’ll figure it all out. But we don’t need to tell everyone the intimate details of our life. He was just painting such a bleak picture that it made me depressed. I’m trying to be hopeful, but realistic at the same time. We will work things out and make the best decisions for us and the baby. I just don’t want to go over every detail of our lives with other people. I’m not sure DH gets this yet, but I will have to have a conversation of things I don’t want shared with everyone before we go home for Christmas.
Another thing that caused this conversation to aggravate me was that this was all taking place in Sara’s huge house that is all ready for a baby. Sara only works part-time and is a SAHW for the most part. She even has a crib which I assume was ordered from her first pregnancy that she lost. Their house and everything about it was so beautiful and comfortable. Sara is a year older than DH and her H is about 5 years older than DH. This is going to sound terrible, but it depressed me somewhat being in their house and knowing that we will never be able to have a house like this in the DC area. They said they bought it as a foreclosure for $374K. You would be able to get a 2-bedroom apartment in our neighborhood for that much. I never knew that I would want a beautiful house like that until I saw it first hand. But that is not the life that we have and maybe that’s not the life I want. There are a lot of wonderful things in DC that we would miss out on. Also, I would not be able to have career that I want living in nowhere NJ. I know that life we live is a trade-off. But seeing a house like that makes me question whether I want to stay in DC indefinitely.
I go back and forth. It would make our lives easier just to move to FL and be near family, but we would be giving up on so many things we love: changing seasons, culture in DC, driving out to the VA countryside, a career in international affairs, going into the city on the weekends, living within walking distance of restaurants, bars, library, etc. It’s difficult, but I think the pros of living in DC outweigh the cons, at least for now.
Of course the entire trip everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which is nice but it led to lots of questions. DH’s aunt is very nice, but very inquisitive. There was one point where DH started explaining how I’m going to take two months off. But I corrected him because I hope to take two months off, but it’s not guaranteed. I’m dependent on getting donated leave from colleagues and my sister. He knew this because I explained it to him, but he acts like it’s all new to him….grrrr…Sometimes he just doesn’t listen to what I say or remember it. Then he goes on about how expensive daycare is, exaggerating the numbers based on what one of his coworkers pays. It just irritated me because this is not something that we need to be talking to his aunt about. It stresses me out. We’ll figure it all out. But we don’t need to tell everyone the intimate details of our life. He was just painting such a bleak picture that it made me depressed. I’m trying to be hopeful, but realistic at the same time. We will work things out and make the best decisions for us and the baby. I just don’t want to go over every detail of our lives with other people. I’m not sure DH gets this yet, but I will have to have a conversation of things I don’t want shared with everyone before we go home for Christmas.
Another thing that caused this conversation to aggravate me was that this was all taking place in Sara’s huge house that is all ready for a baby. Sara only works part-time and is a SAHW for the most part. She even has a crib which I assume was ordered from her first pregnancy that she lost. Their house and everything about it was so beautiful and comfortable. Sara is a year older than DH and her H is about 5 years older than DH. This is going to sound terrible, but it depressed me somewhat being in their house and knowing that we will never be able to have a house like this in the DC area. They said they bought it as a foreclosure for $374K. You would be able to get a 2-bedroom apartment in our neighborhood for that much. I never knew that I would want a beautiful house like that until I saw it first hand. But that is not the life that we have and maybe that’s not the life I want. There are a lot of wonderful things in DC that we would miss out on. Also, I would not be able to have career that I want living in nowhere NJ. I know that life we live is a trade-off. But seeing a house like that makes me question whether I want to stay in DC indefinitely.
I go back and forth. It would make our lives easier just to move to FL and be near family, but we would be giving up on so many things we love: changing seasons, culture in DC, driving out to the VA countryside, a career in international affairs, going into the city on the weekends, living within walking distance of restaurants, bars, library, etc. It’s difficult, but I think the pros of living in DC outweigh the cons, at least for now.
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