Vacation continued…
So after my unsuccessful trip to the beach, I went to the mall to fight boredom. DH wasn’t coming home for a few hours and I thought about going to see “New Moon” but none of the theatre times worked out right. I bought my first maternity clothes during this shopping trip prompted by boredom. I picked up a tank top and a dress, both on sale at Mother Maternity. They had a little pillow belly to put on in the dressing room to visual what you would look like with a belly. I won’t be able to wear the two items for a while because it is way too cold still. I’m wondering if I should even buy any winter maternity clothes. I’m not really going to buy anything until I actually need them in an effort to save money. Also, I was thinking I might look on Craigslist. You can get good collections of maternity clothes for cheap on there. Like 10-15 articles of clothing for $50, which is pretty good.

Christmas and Christmas Eve went off without a hitch. Christmas Eve, we went over my parents house during the day to have lunch and decorate a gingerbread house with my Aunt Louise. My Aunt Louise is mentally challenged and has the mental capacity of an eight-year old. She lives in a group home. Ever since my Grandmother passed away over 3 ½ years ago, it has been a struggle of where she would live. My Grandmother left a rather a large inheritance (in the millions) to my uncles and my aunt. Also, they have a house they bought in the 1950s that is a very valuable piece of property in Florida worth millions of dollars. The house is not worth much, but the land is gulf-front property amongst million dollar homes. She wanted my aunt to be taken care of since she can’t take care of herself. My parents tried to advocate for her to try to live by herself with some assistance that would come every day. This is what she wanted. However, my two uncles were completely obstinate and refused to even try this. They wanted to put her in a group home that they would use her inheritance to build and then she would live for free. It was the cheaper option because it was a one-time investment. After a court battle and much debate, my uncles won and my aunt moved in the group home, where she has been miserable ever since. It’s a sad situation that I really can’t do anything about. My Dad is estranged from my uncles and I don’t know what to think.

I wish they had acted in my Aunt’s best interest, but I really don’t want to cut them out of my life. Out of all my extended family, I was the closest with my two uncles and my aunts and my cousins on my Dad’s side. I keep in touch with my Aunt Barbara the most through e-mail because she is not involved in this whole thing. I wish that things were different and I could still be close with them but our relationship is strained. They’ve never met DH, although I’ve talked about him a lot to them. I told them we were expecting and they were of course thrilled. I am thankful that I have DH’s family, because I love how close they are and I miss that extended family feeling. My Mom’s side is spread all over the country and we have never really been that close with them due to sheer geographic distance.

We split Christmas Day with DH’s family and my family. It was nice at my parent’s place, much more relaxing than DH’s house, no dogs or cranky old men running around. We had a nice Christmas dinner. I did realize something though that I would never tell my Mom. I always loved my Mom’s cooking growing up. But now I realize I love DH’s cooking way more. We like to make things from scratch and make sure there are good flavors integrated in. My mom comes from the Midwest style of cooking where you keep things cheap, filling, and tasty. It’s completely understandable that she would cook like this considering she grew up rather poor with 8 brothers and sisters. We like being adventurous with our flavors and taking the extra time, especially for big meals to make sure something tastes spectacular.

So one big bonus of driving to Florida was the ability to take bulky things back with us. We received a lot of presents that if we had flown we would have been SOL, considering we had to pay $15 just to check one bag. We packed up the truck with lots of random stuff: my cleaned and preserved wedding dress, a used car seat, some random baby stuff, and lots of presents. Luckily, no rain for predicted for the drive home so we didn’t have to use a tarp. We left Saturday morning and reached Charleston around 4:30ish. We had booked a room earlier in the week, because we didn’t feel like driving the whole way back and wanted to make a little mini-trip out of our trip. We stayed the night at a Radisson near the airport because it was like $80. I had been to Charleston once when I was younger with my parents. We ate dinner at a place we had seen on the Travel Channel that had good Southern cooking called The Hominy Grill. It was a really yummy, authentic and not too pricey dinner. Then we wondered around the chilly, empty streets trying to find a nice place to listen to some jazz. Charleston is really a nice quaint little town with beautiful historic houses and lovely alleyways. I wish we could have seen it during the daytime. We found an Italian restaurant and settled in. I was a cheap date the whole night, ordering soda water and lime or juice. I drove back to the hotel around 10ish and we had some long overdue hotel sex…

The rest of the week has passed uneventfully. DH has been ill and it has been freezing so we’ve been staying indoors. I told myself I was going to go to yoga class yesterday to try out my new yoga mat, but I just couldn’t inspire myself. We’ve been so lazy that we’ve been getting into bed around 8:30-9PM to get warm and just watching tv until we’re too tired to stay up. New couches will be coming on Saturday and I can hardly wait! They will be comfy and wonderful and it is very exciting. We’ve never had nice couches before so it really is a step up. We’re getting a sleeper sofa, loveseat, and an armchair all for $1260! I got them to knock off $240 from $1500 after I called and wanted them to cancel my order so I could order them online for much less than what we paid. Instead they said they would honor the online price.

This new years I will be spending solo I think because DH is still sick and isn't up for going to my friend Emily's place as we had planned. He'll probably be asleep by midnight so there is not point in me staying home with him. Sad, but c'est la vie...

Less than 200 days…

Oh boy, this baby is coming at least I think it is. I’m still having those crazy pregnancy doubts that anything is actually happening in my body. But I haven’t had any cramping or spotting so I should assume that everything is going fine in there. The lack of symptoms has thrown me off a little. I have minimal morning sickness. Last week when I was lounging with family and eating crap, I had none and began to question whether I was pregnant at all. For some reason, I only feel nauseous at work. I am a little more irritable lately, so I guess I can blame that on pregnancy…We have our next appointment on Monday and I really hope we get to hear the heartbeat. That would be wonderful. I don’t see why we shouldn’t but they didn’t mention anything at the last appointment. We’ll see how this appointment goes, I might try to find a new O.B. if they don’t do a better job of answering my questions. But I need to make sure to come in with a list of questions.

So our vacation did not quite turn out as we expected. A huge snow storm (20 inches) hit our area the day we were supposed to leave. That is more snow than they have seen in over 20 years and more than we get most winters total. We rebooked our flight as soon as we could. It would have been nice if the stupid airline would have let us rebook it for Friday and we could have avoided the snowstorm entirely but no, they have to screw people over so we rebooked as late in the day Sunday as we could.

DH and I went out to dinner that Friday and went to see a movie “An Education.” We wanted to see “Up in the Air” but for some unknown reason it was pulled from theaters. The movie was pretty good and I loved the fashion and scenes of 1960s London and Paris. After dinner, the snow had already started and I had quite a hard time getting up the hill that would take us back to our place thanks to some stupid cab that caused me to stop on my way up the hill.

Saturday the snow fell and fell some more. We ventured out on foot in midday to go return my library book and grab lunch. There was already at least 7-8 inches on the ground. It was fun to get all bundled up and see our neighborhood covered in snow. Later on that day we went out again just to see how deep it was and take lots of pictures. We went to bed worried about our flight and how the heck we were going to get to the airport. The next morning, the snow finally stopped and we finished packing. I had to beg one of our neighbors who had already dug their car out of the snow to give us ride to the airport which was about 15 minutes away. So I gave her a generous $30 to drive us to airport. We get to the airport early and about 20 minutes later we get through the line and find out our flight is cancelled. We had been checking it all morning and it had been on time. (Of course I had an inkling this was going to happen considering I couldn’t find our flight on the board, it would have been nice if they had actually had our flight there and said it was cancelled). No flights until after Christmas….Crap! So we had the choice to add our names to the long list of people on standby or just give up on the whole flying thing. That’s when we made the decision to drive. We got back from the airport where cabs were apparently running and dug out our truck. That was fun considering we didn’t have a snow shovel. One of our neighbors took pity on us and let us use theirs after they were done. So we dug it all out which took about an hour and headed off. We hit some traffic about 20 miles from DC and after a short detour, we were on our way. 13 and a half hours later (around 1:30AM) we got to BIL’s house near Tampa!

The rest of the vacation was mostly uneventful. It was nice enough and relaxing. Seeing my parents was good and catching up with friends was good. To be honest I found myself bored a lot of the time that I was staying with my inlaws. We didn’t do enough things to get out of the house and I got sick of the endless pregnancy questions. SIL was in a bad mood most of the trip because she is getting m/s pretty bad. I really enjoyed spending time with my little BIL and chatting with my other BIL, he cracks me up. Little BIL, let’s call him Tommy, is 1 ½ and FIL’s child with his second wife. He’s cute and fun. He was very shy though especially around DH. He doesn’t get out a lot since FIL’s wife doesn’t drive. She is from the Philippines and very sweet, but the whole relationship is very odd. BIL/SIL basically told us that they met through a pen pal/mail order bride kind of thing. She is 20 years younger than FIL and stays home all day with GMIL and her beau of 20 years who live in the same house. GMIL has been with Nelson for 20 years but they’re not married. He is a curmudgeonly old man who never really talks to me and plays the television way too loud. He makes rude comments and everyone just trys to ignore him.

I had one day to myself when DH went golfing with his brother and friend. It was nice. I thought about driving to my parents place to hang out with them, but it’s a long drive and I was lazy. So I ran a couple last minute Christmas shopping errands and grabbed lunch with the beach being my ultimate destination. I decided to get my H1N1 shot. I had been delaying this and it was so easy in FL so I went to Walgreen’s and waited 20 minutes and voila, I was done. It’s crazy how different it was there. They don’t have them in pharmacies any more and they have clinics at random places where you have to wait forever. It was nice to get it done easily with no hassle. The beach was a wash. I got there and it was windy and cold. The weather had changed drastically from the morning when I had gone for my run. In an effort to break up my blog entries, I will end this one here and maybe write some more later today…

I love you snow...but come on!

So our trip to FL for Christmas is imminent and DH and I are both excited. However there is one snafu. We’re supposed to get a decent sized snow-storm Saturday and our flight is scheduled for Saturday afternoon. It certainly is worrisome. I’m worried our flight will be delayed or cancelled (most likely the latter.) I got in touch with AirTran to see if there is any way we can get an earlier flight. DH and I both have off tomorrow so we could easily leave tomorrow and our family will not mind having us in town for an extra day. They said that they have to issue a weather advisory first and then we can change it with out paying the extra fees. I really hope that this is done within a timely fashion. It would awesome if somehow we could get a flight out tomorrow night or afternoon. Of course, we would have to cancel our ice skating/dinner plans tomorrow, but it would be worth it.
It’s kind of sad though, because I love snow and wish that I could be looking forward to this snow storm instead of dreading it. We don’t get a lot of snow so I relish it when we do. Also, if we can leave before it hits, then we won’t get to enjoy it.
It would really stink if we couldn’t fly out until Sunday or even Monday. That would really cut into our time with our families. We planned this trip specifically to be longer because we never felt like we had enough time to enjoy spending time with both families.
So I’ve been doing a lot more thinking about labor and all that jazz. DH is completely unaware of how difficult giving birth actually is. I’m trying to tell him that it is not as easy as just saying I’m going to have a natural birth and doing it. I would like to definitely pursue the Bradley Method classes and possibly a doula. I still need to explain that concept to him fully. I’m kind of worried about the cost, because things are starting to add up. We need a “new” car before the baby comes. I’m really excited because we’re going to buy new couches after the holidays. I can’t wait!! The couches that we have now are functional, but in reality their pieces of crap. I’m so excited to get couches that we can plop down on comfortably and that will be able to accommodate guests sleeping on them.
The thing is we can afford most of this. I just put another $1500 in Savings reaching a grand total of $9400! This is just since July. We should be able to add in some more after our trip home hopefully reaching $10,000. I’m really proud of us that we’ve made such a turnaround in our finances since we got married. Our down payment for our car will come out of this. It’s just a question of how much. I want to have a nice emergency fund. Even though, I really don’t think either of our jobs are in question. But now that we have a child coming we can’t just think about Justin (DH) and me. I think I’m going to start using Justin because I’m tired of using DH. We have to be financially responsible and smart for the little one.
So it turns out that I’m going to be an aunt. BIL/SIL are due a few weeks after us. I’m excited that we will all get to go through this together. But I am relieved that she is not due before me. It’s really childish, but because I don’t want them to steal my thunder. We announced it to everyone first. They already announced it on FB yesterday so I guess for that reason I’m happy that we already spilled the beans, because otherwise it would look like we were trying to copy them or something. The timing is odd on this whole thing, but it will all turn out well. My parents are so thrilled that will be enough gushing for both families. I hope my Dad is able to get a job before the baby comes. He’s been unemployed since May (laid off). They haven’t been able to visit us since we moved into our new apartment and I know they want to visit when we have the baby, but my Dad is weird about things and he would want a hotel, so the trip would be expensive. We’ll have to see what happens.

Monday returns and so does my generalized anxiety over hating my job and having a child. It’s weird how it comes every Monday morning and I start worrying about all the wonderful responsibilities that come with having a child. I forget that DH and I will be expanding our family and that we will have a little one to raise and love as our own. I really do feel like an adult now that we have a little one on the way.

Friday, I went with DH to his office Christmas Party at a local restaurant. DH had already spilled the beans to everyone at work so everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which was nice and a little annoying because I had answer the same questions like 20 times. This lady who was sitting next to us was kind of annoyingly talkative and drunk which worsened the situation. Also, all the people that DH is closest to (and that I know best) ended up sitting at the other table which was a little annoying.

Saturday morning, we had our last flag football game. We lost and I was disappointed in how I played. The ground was really hard and slick and I fell a few times on my knees (ouch!). They are still sore. The game was close and we could have won, but it just didn’t happen in the end. I’m happy that the season is over and I don’t have to worry about playing anymore. Once again, if I hadn’t been there this weekend we would have had to forfeit, because we needed two girls and the other two girls on the team were injured. I had a lot of fun playing and will be sad when they do a spring league and I won’t be able to play. I told DH that I would come and watch him play and cheer on the team.

We went to a local bar after the game to celebrate the season. I did win in shuffleboard so I wasn’t a complete loser that day. Later that evening we had people over for a potluck and to exchange Secret Santa gifts. It turned out pretty well. We ended up playing a few games: Scene it and Trivial Pursuit. The teams were evenly matched so that turned out well. The downside of the evening was after everyone had left DH got kind of drunk and was not very considerate of me trying to go to bed. He was loud, chatting with his friends on the phone and listening to music. Then later when I got up to pee, I found him passed out on the couch with all the lights and the television on. I turned off the lights and the t.v. and told him to come to bed. He refused to get up. Then 5 minutes later he wanders into the bedroom and turns on the lights very quickly and then turns them off and comes to bed. I told him I was annoyed with him the next morning. Of course, he apologized profusely and but of course like always he doesn’t remember any of it. This is not the first time that he acts kind of stupid when drunk and doesn’t remember it. It’s annoying reoccurrence that happens maybe once a month. I don’t really know what to do about it because it is not like it’s every night or every weekend. It’s just once in a while. He gets drunk and acts kind of stupid, not abusive or even mean, just annoyingly stupid. Maybe I just need to ask him not to get so drunk that he acts stupid. We discussed it some, but I usually let it go after he apologizes a bunch.

DH had an upsetting morning so I let it go after a little while. He was chatting with his Mom about Christmas presents, the baby, etc. He goes into the other room and finishes his conversation. He comes out about 10-15 minutes later and I notice an immediate difference. I ask him if everything is ok and he says yes and then I ask him what was up with his Mom and other stuff. Then, he breaks down and starts crying. While his Mom is a very nice lady, she does not make the best financial decisions. She just bought a trailer in Maine and is in the process of moving there from New Hampshire. Money is very tight because she is transitioning to a new job and her H is still living in New Hampshire working at his job. He felt really bad bugging her about when she was going to send our Christmas gifts because she finally explained to him that she hadn’t sent them yet because she couldn’t afford the postage. Also, I asked if she would send me some of the yummy peppermint bark that she makes for the holidays. She apologized to DH that she couldn’t afford the ingredients. Of course, DH told her that none of that stuff was important and for her not to worry about it.

Basically, he realized how desperate her situation really is and it is a hard reality to face, that your mother is really poor. I tried to comfort him and asked him if he wanted to send some of his bonus money to his Mom. I also explained to him that his Mom’s situation will get better. She just moved and will start a new job in a few weeks and then she’ll be in a better situation. I felt bad for him, because I’ve only seen him cry a few times and it must be hard for him to see his Mom in this situation. So we sent a check to his Mom with her Christmas card, that hopefully she will cash. The money that we sent her ($300) would have gone in savings, but this month we have a lot of extra cash coming in. Also, since we weren’t even expecting that bonus and DH earned it, I feel fine giving it to MIL. I told DH that it is fine to help family out if we can afford it and as long as it is not a monthly occurrence.

So our second doctor’s appointment on Friday was pretty uneventful. They did blood and urine test, asked a number of questions. I wish that I had come there with more questions. I completely forgot to ask about the flu vaccines and they didn’t bring it up. After checking with my insurance, they don’t cover genetic testing that isn’t medically necessary. I don’t quite know what this means, but since we don’t have any history of downs syndrome in my family then they probably won’t cover it. My aunt is mentally challenged, but it is not Down’s syndrome as far as I know. We won’t have an ultrasound until 18-20 weeks, which feels so far away. I’m burning with a desire just to know what is going on and to know that everything is ok with the baby. I’m sure that’s typical of all new mothers. But I guess I’ve gotten to the point where I’m assuming no news is good news. I have mild symptoms. My boobs are much bigger, but my pants still fit the same. I’ve gained maybe 2 pounds which is probably the result of me eating all the time. I’m hungry most of the day and it takes a lot to satisfy my hunger. I don’t really like it very much because I’ve been supplementing my diet with sweets, which I’ve been craving non-stop. After the appointment, DH and I ran a few errands, which included buying some clear ornaments that we could decorate with paint.
I met my friend Christine in DC that afternoon to see a movie, “Precious.” As I knew it was going to be, the movie was very depressing but uplifting at the same time. It was nice to go to a movie, which I don’t do very often. Christine and I walked to Georgetown Cupcake to get a yummy cupcake after the movie. I wanted like 5 cupcakes but I restrained myself and only ordered one. It was damn good. I walked across the Key Bridge at dusk to get to the Metro. It has beautiful views of the city so it was nice to have some me time just walking around the city. Justin and I enjoyed a nice evening at home watching Slumdog Millionaire.
Saturday, we found out our flag football game had been cancelled due to the impending snow storm. It was a great day to just sit around and watch the snow fall. I caught up on some of Spanish lessons and DVRed shows. I’m not sure if I mentioned this before but I was able to get a free subscription to Rosetta Stone through work, so I’m using it right now to learn Spanish! It’s a great program. I wish I could do it every night but I have a hard time finding time to do it. I want to get through all of the levels of Spanish (there are 5) and start a new language, but that’s probably a little ambitious until April when my subscription ends. Of course, I can always apply for it again. However, I really hope to be in a different job by then.
Sunday morning, I did some more language training when I went to a French workshop meet up in DC. It turned out really well. I was on a comparable level to some people and better than others. There were some really good speakers, but everyone was really nice and I understood most of what was said. It was great to practice speaking in small groups. I think I want to go on Rosetta Stone and practice some advanced French lessons too. After my workshop, I met DH at a bar in our neighborhood to watch both our teams lose frustratingly close games…It was fun until the end and then we both ended up annoyed. The best part about it was that there was no smoking in the bar! Starting December 1, 2009, smoking is banned in all VA bars and restaurants. Yay! DH and I used to go this bar on occasion, but always disliked how smoky it was. It was heaven sitting in there without my eyes watering and having trouble breathing. Of course, this is the most opportune time as now that I’m pregnant I won’t go anywhere near smoky bars.
My next appointment is not for a month and there won’t be u/s. I guess I was spoiled with the first one we had. I wanted reassurance that everything is ok. But I guess I will have to trust my body.

Up and down…

So our trip to NJ went pretty good. It was fun and relaxing, but I was kind of bored for a lot of the time. There was a lot of down time and too many trips to the mall. Plus, it was kind of boring watching everyone drink and have fun, while I sat on the sidelines. Friday was the day we were supposed to go into Philly, but we ended up going to two different extremely packed malls. I had agreed to go with my SIL, DH’s cousin (Sara) and DH’s aunt because I wanted to get out of the house. (I will get to the house later) Well we went to Best Buy and then another mall. I don’t do well in crowds, but I was trying to stay calm and not freak out like I do sometimes when I’m with DH. I wasn’t really in the mood to buy anything so I just did a lot of window shopping with SIL and DH’s cousin. So we ended up going to another mall for some reason and that was just as crowded and I was bored again. Finally, we met the boys (DH, BIL, and Sara’s H) in Philly. They had already done the one thing that I had wanted to do, go to one of the famous Cheesesteak places. Luckily DH saved me half a sandwich so I got to have one. We went to a few bars wear I was again bored. I realized I’m a very shy person and I don’t have a lot in common with SIL and Sara. They’re very close and that’s great but I just don’t fit in as well.
Of course the entire trip everyone was gushing over my pregnancy, which is nice but it led to lots of questions. DH’s aunt is very nice, but very inquisitive. There was one point where DH started explaining how I’m going to take two months off. But I corrected him because I hope to take two months off, but it’s not guaranteed. I’m dependent on getting donated leave from colleagues and my sister. He knew this because I explained it to him, but he acts like it’s all new to him….grrrr…Sometimes he just doesn’t listen to what I say or remember it. Then he goes on about how expensive daycare is, exaggerating the numbers based on what one of his coworkers pays. It just irritated me because this is not something that we need to be talking to his aunt about. It stresses me out. We’ll figure it all out. But we don’t need to tell everyone the intimate details of our life. He was just painting such a bleak picture that it made me depressed. I’m trying to be hopeful, but realistic at the same time. We will work things out and make the best decisions for us and the baby. I just don’t want to go over every detail of our lives with other people. I’m not sure DH gets this yet, but I will have to have a conversation of things I don’t want shared with everyone before we go home for Christmas.

Another thing that caused this conversation to aggravate me was that this was all taking place in Sara’s huge house that is all ready for a baby. Sara only works part-time and is a SAHW for the most part. She even has a crib which I assume was ordered from her first pregnancy that she lost. Their house and everything about it was so beautiful and comfortable. Sara is a year older than DH and her H is about 5 years older than DH. This is going to sound terrible, but it depressed me somewhat being in their house and knowing that we will never be able to have a house like this in the DC area. They said they bought it as a foreclosure for $374K. You would be able to get a 2-bedroom apartment in our neighborhood for that much. I never knew that I would want a beautiful house like that until I saw it first hand. But that is not the life that we have and maybe that’s not the life I want. There are a lot of wonderful things in DC that we would miss out on. Also, I would not be able to have career that I want living in nowhere NJ. I know that life we live is a trade-off. But seeing a house like that makes me question whether I want to stay in DC indefinitely.
I go back and forth. It would make our lives easier just to move to FL and be near family, but we would be giving up on so many things we love: changing seasons, culture in DC, driving out to the VA countryside, a career in international affairs, going into the city on the weekends, living within walking distance of restaurants, bars, library, etc. It’s difficult, but I think the pros of living in DC outweigh the cons, at least for now.

So the cat is out of the bag, probably sooner than I would have liked. I told all of our friends at the surprise party on Saturday. I just couldn’t keep it in. Everyone was excited and shocked really. I could tell that some were more excited than others. None of our friends in the city have kids and only a few of them are married. It is definitely early for people to have kids for this area. I wonder how much our friendships will change. We won’t be able to do a lot of the fun stuff that we did before. No more carefree Saturdays spent by the pool drinking vodka Kool-Aid ‘til late at night. But there will be better rewards and I suppose that time in our life is coming to an end and that’s fine. My friend Emily will be leaving the country within the next year probably and she is the person that we hang out with the most.
DH also told people on Facebook, which I could have definitely waited for. I told people on Facebook since he did. I just hope nothing goes wrong and I have to somehow untell people. I’m terrified now. My appointment next Friday cannot come soon enough. What was I even thinking scheduling it that late?....My biggest fear is that we go and we don’t hear a heartbeat. I just wish we had waiting until we heard a heartbeat. Although I think my fears are completely unfounded, I have read to many m/c stories on the nest and the bump.
On to happier things, we’re off to NJ today for Thanksgiving. I’m pretty excited. We will be staying at DH’s cousin’s Sara and her husband’s Edward house and BIL/SIL are coming from FL. It should be lots of fun and the food should be delicious. The only thing I’m a little worried about is that I think Sara has suffered a miscarriage in the past and is still trying to have a baby. It’s sad. She sent us a nice message about the pregnancy. I just hope that too much baby talk doesn’t upset her. She’s really nice so I don’t expect a scene. I will try not to be too much of an AW and be considerate of her feelings.
I’m hoping to see my BFF Krystalyn over the weekend since she will be home in NJ for Thanksgiving as well. I haven’t seen her since August and we haven’t been doing a good job of keeping in touch. It’s sad but we both lead busy lives. She has a BF that she is with. I don’t think she really loves him, but she won’t break up with him until someone better comes along. I don’t really judge or care what she does with her love life. I like the guy, but it is not my business.
Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Baby’s First Picture

So yesterday morning, DH and I went to my gynecologist for our first ultrasound. We got there pretty early because I wanted to get it done with as soon as possible so I could get to work and not be too late. Of course when we get there, the doctor isn’t even there. I heard over the phone that he didn’t know he had an appointment. Grrrr…I try not to be annoyed because the assistant is very nice and helpful. So the doctor gets in quickly within 10 minutes and sees me right away. Unfortunately in the 5 minutes between me peeing and the doctor arriving, my bladder has filled up again. So instead of getting dressed I pop over to the bathroom with my a$$ hanging out of the sheet! But whatever, I’m not overly modest and the nice assistant made sure that no one saw me. Then we got our picture. There wasn’t much to see. But there was a gestational sac and a yolk, which the doctor said was good. Based on the research I’ve done online and looking at my chart, it looks like I’m about 5wk4d, which means my due date is July 17th. I didn’t have a bunch of questions to ask but the doctor told me everything looked great and referred me to a couple OBs. I’m not sure if I’ll use any of them. I’m kind of tempted to get a female OB. DH was a little uncomfortable watching some guy stick something up my hooha. But I really don’t know much about finding an OB. I’ve been doing research online, googling names and reading the reviews. That’s been helpful. Also, we need to decide what hospital we want to deliver at. I’m not overly impressed with any of the hospitals nearby as far as their c-section rates go, but DH is reluctant to go to a hospital farther away. Also, a hospital farther away means that the OBs office would be farther away making it harder to get to appointments and balance working the in the city.
Lots of decisions to make and I guess we have plenty of time to make them, but it is rather overwhelming.

My confession is that I really don’t know tons about babies or a lot of stuff. I never had younger brothers or sisters. I babysitted some, but not babies. I’m learning from the book that I’m reading, Pregnancy: Week by Week, but there is still so much to learn.

Ok now that is out of the way, onto non-baby related topics (I guess this baby related a little). I have another confession to make. I’ve been keeping this out of my blog because I’m worried about being judged. But I haven’t stopped playing flag football. The truth is my team needs me. If I had bowed out last week or if I bowed out this weekend, then they would have to forfeit the game. We’ve been missing a lot of people lately and without me, they don’t have a full team. There are only two weeks left and I’m going to finish them out. Our game last weekend was awesome! We came back at the very end and won. I played decent defense. I was covering a girl that was a foot taller than me and I stopped her from catching a number of passes. We were the scrappy underdogs since we only had 7 (so no substitutes) and this team had beaten us once before.

This weekend one of DH’s friends and his girlfriends will be in town so we’ve been tidying the place up. Another confession, we only really clean when the place gets really dirty like once a month and when people come to visit. We NEVER have people stop by randomly and our friends rarely come to our place because we live far from them. DH and I are content for the most part with our messiness. We keep the place clutter free as much as possible but deep cleaning like mopping floors, cleaning off counter-tops, etc, we don’t do that frequently. I’m debating whether I want to tell our local friends this weekend about the baby. I really do want to tell them but I can’t decide. I’m worried that the flag football thing might cause a problem. I don’t want to tell my team because I’m worried they won’t let me play anymore. But whatever, I’ll figure that out.

I’ve been going through ups and downs over the last couple of days. Every now and then, a wave of panic goes through me. They consist of a wide variety of worries which include: what if something happens to the baby, oh crap we’re having a baby our lives are going to change forever, what if DH and I fight a lot because we’re exhausted when we have a baby crying all night, I don’t know what I’m doing with a baby…..

I figure these are all normal worries that come with parenthood but I think they have been affecting my sleep. I’ve been waking up an hour or half-hour before I’m supposed to get up and then the worries start. Usually I sleep just fine. But it’s weird, I think it has to do with that now I’m not just responsible for myself, I’m responsible for another person: a completely helpless person that will depend on me for a long, long time.

On to happier news, DH and I are going to my gynecologist on Tuesday (my next Friday appointment had to be moved). I’m not sure if I’m going to get a sonogram. The lady mentioned something about that over the phone. But I know they don’t usually do those in the beginning if there is no history of miscarriage or no spotting. I hope it’s covered by insurance. It would be wonderful to see our little sea monkey on the screen (DH and I are calling the baby that for now). I’ve been reading my pregnancy book, which has been very interesting and informative. I have a hard time putting it down. There are a lot of worrying things in there, but I suppose it’s good to be informed.
Another piece of good news is that I’ve been doing some research on Leave Donation and I’m pretty sure that I can qualify for leave donation. I figured it out and I’ll have about two weeks of annual leave around the time the baby comes, which is not enough. I have plenty of sick leave, but I can only use it for a certain amount of time I think depending on if I have a vaginal or c-section birth. Well the leave donation program means that other federal government employees can donate leave to me even my sister (who is in the military). She has a ton of leave because she’s in Iraq and doesn’t use leave very often. She even joked the other day about giving me some leave. So I think I can get some from her. I hope I might be able to get some other leave from people in my office. I work with a ton of older federal government employees who have tons of leave accrued over the years. So if I could get the 6-weeks maximum that I can get donated for maternity leave plus whatever leave I have. I hope that I might be able to have a 2-month maternity leave, which would be great! Although I could take 3 months off, I wouldn’t have enough leave to cover it and going leave without pay is not something I really want to do. Although we have the money in savings to do it, I make a lot more money than my husband and it would hurt us a lot.

I think we’ve decided that we’re not going to try to buy anything next year. The baby kind of decided that for us. We will have probably about $20K saved up by the time the baby comes and we need to keep that for an emergency. Also, we love our apartment and neighborhood. We’re not ready to leave yet. I’m planning on taking the Foreign Service exam next year at the end of the summer. So, we really have no idea how long we’ll be in the area. Lots of things are up in the air, but DH and I are just trying to be flexible and do what it best for us and our little sea monkey.

Another tidbit of good news is that we sold my car yesterday. It was the first car that I’ve ever had just as my own (my sister and I had always shared one in HS). It needed repairs that we weren’t willing to make and it wasn’t worth it dumping more money into it. We sold it for $600, which was less than we offered for, but a fair price. We’re a one truck family for now. It’s a pain a little bit because it’s a two-seater truck. So, we can’t drive people around and when we go grocery shopping it gets very tight. We’ll buy a new one eventually before the baby comes after we build our savings a little more.

OMG I’m pregnant!!

So I guess I owe a blog entry on this. I would have written sooner, but work has actually been really busy lately and homelife has been busy as well.
Here’s my story: I thought I would wait until Sunday to test, but I wanted to know before the weekend started whether I was pregnant or not to know if I could drink or not. So Thursday night, I had a hard time sleeping because I was thinking about testing all night. I woke up around 7:30AM. DH and I both had the day off and he was feeling pretty sick from a cold so he didn’t get up when I got up. I just hung out and watched Project Runway on DVR and a few other shows I had on there. Actually in the middle of Project Runway, around 8:30AM, I decided I couldn’t wait anymore. I had to pee. So I told DH that I had to pee and that I was going to test. He said one word from bed to indicated his consent “pee.” So I did it and went back to watching Project Runway. I went back in and I literally said “Oh My God” when I saw the two lines. The lines weren’t faint or disputable. It was a damn awesome bright second line. It felt like it screamed “Hey, I’m pregnant!” DH heard me and knew what that meant. He called “Are you pregnant?” as he was getting up. He got up and looked at it and gave me a big hug. I couldn’t stop laughing and crying a little.

We were excited and nervous and excited all at the same time. But we just went about our day. I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for that day so that worked out really nicely. I was happy that I was able to get a blood test so quickly (I heard the results on Monday and they came back positive too). It was neat being able to tell the doctor that I thought I was pregnant. I asked him if it was ok if I ran a 5k on Sunday and he said that would be fine. The rest of the day passed uneventfully. I did manage to run 3 miles which was the last day for our training regiment. DH rested in bed to try to get better. That night we met up with my friends Emily and Matt to help Matt move his stuff into a moving van (he’s moving into Emily’s studio apartment). It was really hard not saying anything, but I wanted to wait to tell our friends in DC. I’m not sure why but I just do.

The next day, I took another pregnancy test because I figured I didn’t really need them and I wanted to make sure the day before wasn’t a figment of my imagination (although I did keep the test hanging around just to stare at it). It was positive again with a beautiful second line. So we decided ok lets tell family because I wouldn’t be able to keep it in if I spoke with them (my parents bring up grandkids every time I talk to them). We first called my parents on Skype. It was fun to see their reaction. Of course they were thrilled and they seemed to know right away (everyone did, it kind of ruined the surprise). My sister called on Skype right at the end of my conversation with my parents so of course we told her then. She seemed excited as well. Then we told MIL, FIL, BIL, and SIL, that morning. Everyone was very excited. I have a feeling that SIL was kind of jealous because she’s kind of been half-trying for a while. Saturday night we met up with our friends from NYC who had just moved back to the DC area. They’re a 30-minute drive and an even longer Metro ride away. We went to their new apartment which was nice. Our mutual friend David lives right by them so now we’re always going to be obligated to go to Maryland where they live. We were hoping they would move to VA but that didn’t happen. So we went to a diner that served pretty fatty, greasy foods. Of course, I’m still doing the pescetarian thing so I ordered a fish and chips, which was pretty nasty. But I definitely felt like puking afterwards. That leads me into pregnancy symptoms. I’ve gotten some nausea (mostly after eating), sore nipples here and there, abdominal pain, and a little bloating. So we managed to give the excuse of having our 5K tomorrow morning to avoid drinking.

Sunday morning was the 5K. We got there really early because we were worried about finding parking and being late. But we got there with plenty of time and ended up just sitting in our car for a while. DH was still feeling sick so I was going to have run solo L We all lined up and DH went to the back since he was going to walk. It started and everyone was passing me, which was fine except for the biotch who hit my elbow with her fist when the race first started. It felt pretty good at first. After the first mile or so, my nipples were on fire! They hurt a lot, but I kept going and running. I was passing some people who had started off fast and were running out of gas. The last half mile or so was tough because I started sprinting too early. But I made it and I was really proud. I finished with 29:40 which is not that great, but it’s a start. I wanted to try to train up for a 10K next, I’m not sure I will be able to do that, being pregnant and all.

DH and I have started making plans in our apartment to fit the baby in. We will have to turn the office into a nursery and move most of our office stuff downstairs in the storage room. I think house buying will have to be put on hold. We shouldn’t rush into anything and who knows where we will be in a couple of years. Lots of decisions to make!

So my weekend was pretty awesome. Friday, DH and I finally got to do our hike. We went to Catoctin Mountain Park in Maryland. We drove up there in the morning and started walking. We had a little rain but we dressed warmly and it turned out good for the most part. We enjoyed having the trail to ourselves for a lot of the way. It wasn’t too strenuous at all. There was a waterfall on the hike that was pretty. The leaves were all different colors and very nice. Saturday, we had our flag football game which didn’t turn out as well. We lost. They were a pretty good team and we knew it all along. I think we can beat them but we just need to come up with a game plan and practice some plays. UVA lost their game as well. Saturday night we went to my friend’s place for a scary movie night. We watched “The Number 23” (incredibly stupid as I suspected it would be) and “Amityville Horror” which was better but not that great. Sunday, we spent cleaning and watching football.
I’ve decided to try to teach myself Spanish. I spent a lot of Sunday afternoon on the computer with Rosetta Stone. I discovered through work that I can get free access to Rosetta Stone to learn whatever language I want for like 9 months! So I started level 1 Spanish since I will be volunteering to teach English with Spanish speakers and knowing a little Spanish will probably help me out. I was obsessed with doing the program all day. It’s fun and easy and very effective at teaching you.

DH and I went for a run yesterday after the football game and it turned out pretty good at least for me. We’re just two weeks away from when we are going to run the 5K. I know I’ll be ready but I don’t know if DH is. We’re going again tonight. I hope it turns out well.

This weekend our friends from NYC are moving back to the DC Metro area. Yay! We’re pretty happy about this because we like hanging out with them and they’re getting married next year so I’m excited about helping them with wedding stuff.
In fertility news, I’ve been trying to keep up with the charting thing but it has been challenging. I have a hard time on the weekends because I love to sleep in and I usually drink which affects my temperatures. But according to fertility friend, I ovulated last Wednesday. Unfortunately this was smack dab in the middle of a 4 day run of DH and I not having sex for a variety of reasons. He was out of town one night, another night he was not feeling well, another night we came home late from a bar. But whatever, we’ll see. At least it’s reassuring that I ovulated.

Will this day ever end?

It just seems to be dragging on and on. DH is back in town from his business trip tonight. But I’ve already been forewarned that he is very hungover and will be going to straight to bed. He was out drinking with his coworkers and supervisors and they were buying. Hence, he got pretty drunk. I guess I’ll be running by myself L. He might be exaggerating (he likes to do that) about going straight to bed but I know he won’t go running with me. I wonder if I’ll get any sex. It’s a bummer that he’s coming home “damaged.” But that’s the way it is. I guess I’m a little bitter that he was out having fun in Charlottesville while I was stuck at home.

The weekend can’t come soon enough.

So the dinner party went off without a hitch. Everyone showed up in a timely fashion. Everyone loved our food and our apartment and everyone had a great time. Success! Thank god our flag football game was cancelled Saturday morning. We spent most of the day cooking and prepping for our dinner party. It was really nice cooking with DH. Usually I sit back and let him work his magic, but we worked together to get everything done. I spent a lot of the day working on a Party Mix, which was a big PITA because all my music was distributed over 10 CDs, but not all of it was good music so I had to farm out the good stuff.

Sunday we were recovering from our hangovers. Since neither of us had to drive anywhere we ended up drinking a lot. Our friends Emily and Matt decided to stay later than everyone else and hang out. We watched a lot of football. The Redskins being the losers that they are lost again….But I wasn’t as bummed out as usual because I’m expecting it. This season is down the tubes. UVA won on Saturday against Maryland. That was pretty awesome. DH and I had thought about going to that game but decided not to. Considering how crappy the weather was, I’m really glad we didn’t buy tickets for it.

I’ve been feeling kind of bored and restless lately. I don’t like being at work but all I want to do when I get home is collapse on the couch. DH and I are training to run a 5K in a few weeks. Nothing could inspire me to go out in the cold last night. I’ve been missing out on my gym classes too. I’ve haven’t gone to yoga or my dance class in weeks. I know I’ll get back to the gym eventually but right now, it’s like since I’m out of the habit of going, nothing on earth can get me there.

DH is out of town tonight for work. I’m jealous he got to go to Charlottesville to meet with his manager. He seems to have a really good time because his manager takes them out to dinner and out to bars around Charlottesville. I could’ve gone with him, but I didn’t want to take the time off work. I need to save my leave for when I’ll need maternity leave. We’re trying to go for a hike on Friday for our day off but once again the weather is not cooperating. So we might have to delay it until Sunday. We’ll see.

I keep thinking about how our lives will change after we have a baby. It’s going to be a challenge to balance working and having a child. I think we can handle it, but there will be a lot of sacrifices. I know we’ll adjust.

Another weekend...

My four-day weekend is long gone. This week at work has really sucked. But I really don’t want to go into that because writing about it just makes me more annoyed.

It’s Friday again. Yay! The week was uneventful. Monday DH had to go to work and I had off so I spent cooking most of the day, which is very abnormal for me. I made a soup for DH and I’s lunches for the week, I made some healthy muffins for snacks, and I made dinner for us. It was a long day and not something that I really enjoyed doing that much. I’m not cut out to be a SAHM at all. I’m realizing this more and more. I resent the very idea. DH and I were watching a Dr. Phil episode with the age-old debate between SAHM and Working Mom. The sanctimonious SAHMs really got my blood boiling….Begin rant

First of all, I have nothing against parents that choose to stay home with their children. But there is NO reason that it should automatically fall on a woman to do this. Women have just as much right to be in the work-force as men. There is no reason that the default person to stay home should be the woman. This was not expressed adequately in this episode and it p!ssed me off.

Second, a child going to daycare or other child care is not any worse off that a child that stays at home all day with a parent. My mom got very limited time off after my sister and I were born and my Dad was overseas with the Navy for a lot of our childhood. They both worked full-time throughout our entire childhood. I don’t think I’m any more worse off for it. If anything, I think I’m much more independent because of that. But we had family time on the weekends and during the week. We had dinner every night at 6PM and had fun-family activities throughout the weekend.

Third, I realized that DH and I disagree somewhat on this topic. His mom stayed at home with him and his brother until they were older. He thinks that it is “better” if a parent can stay at home. This fundamentally went against my second point. But throughout the show Dr. Phil chimed in like he was part of the conversation refuting his argument that one way is better than the other. DH was left with the argument that it is cheaper and it can be difficult to find appropriate child-care, which I guess is true. But it will probably never cheaper for me to stay at home. I bring him home the bacon….I make about $25K more than DH. He’s not intimidated by it though.

DH and I are having a dinner party this weekend. The menu is coming together pretty nicely. I think it’s going to be a huge hit. The only thing I regret is that we don’t have a bigger place. It’s going to be pretty crowded with 10 people and not everyone can fit around our dining room table. But all of our friends are used to this. They live in small apartments too so it’s not something to be worried about. We have a ton to do to get ready for it. We don’t have people over often (like once a month or once every couple of weeks). We’re kind of isolated where we live. Most of our friends live in DC or Maryland and don’t have cars so we meet in the middle in DC. I like it this way for the most part. We don’t have to worry about cleaning on a daily basis for fear of people dropping by. Our apartment can get rather messy a lot of times. But neither of us harp on each other to clean it because we’re content with the messiness. Eventually, we say, “Hey this apartment is a mess” and both work together to clean it. Sometimes if one of us is home by ourselves we’ll clean up the place as a nice surprise. So far it’s worked for us but I imagine once we have kids, a bigger place, and more people coming over on a regular basis we’ll have to figure out a new system.

Whoa this has gotten really long…must do a bit of work now.

4-day weekend here we come!

I’m pretty excited about it considering how much I hate work and have no interest in being there. I need to spend some of the weekend applying for jobs. I have to keep telling myself a job is not going to fly out of the sky. I have to pursue it relentlessly so I can get out of this office. DH and I both have tomorrow off, which is good and bad. Good because we can do fun things together and get out of town together. Bad because I was going to use that time to apply for jobs that are coming up with the closing date tomorrow. I applied for one already and the other one I’m going to apply for some this evening and some tomorrow morning and afternoon. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal but with applying for govt jobs means having to spend a couple of hours preparing essays on how you are qualified for the job. They SUCK!! You spend so much time on something that will probably never come to fruition. It is just so frustrating, but I have to keep going.

Ok, enough complaining for now. Think happy thoughts. Tomorrow DH and I were supposed to go on a hike but it looks like it is going to rain. So scratch that, we’re going south to the Northern Neck in VA to a few wineries. It is not supposed to rain in VA but it is supposed to rain in MD so go figure. DH has been wanting to do this forever. I’m not like uber excited because I’ve been to the Northern Neck and I don’t find it that interesting but he really wants to go. It’s been a long time since I’ve been there so maybe it’s nicer than it used to be.

Tonight is my training to be a volunteer teaching English to immigrants. I hope it goes well. I’m not sure when we’ll start teaching, but it should be in a few weeks. DH and I have been doing a couch-to-5k program. We kind of started in the middle of the program because we can run for a while and are not that out of shape. It’s been going well so far. It’s fun to run together and it is a lot easier to commit to a run than a trip to they gym. But it means that I haven’t been to the gym in a while. Eeek! I told myself I would never do this because I don’t want to waste my money. I’ll have to go back sometime this weekend. I’m just not sure when. We have our 2nd flag football game on Sunday. It’s another scrimmage, but it will be useful to keep working out the kinks in our game.

I’m looking forward to Monday. I have it off because it is a government holiday and DH has to work. I have a day-off to myself and I’m pretty excited about it. As much as I love DH very much and enjoy my time with him, I do miss my Fridays some time.

Hello biotch,

So I started to feel sick around lunch time yesterday and I thought, hmm….maybe I should test again. By the time I got home, I had pretty much convinced myself I was pregnant. I test = BFN. AF shows up later that night and I realize I made the age-old mistake of women TTC by mistaking AF symptoms for pregnancy symptoms and peed away $4.50. I’m not too choked up about it. It’s actually better because I would hate to abandon my flag football team before we even had our first official game and even more important, DH and I booked a cruise for February. I looked at the regulations regarding pregnant women because I was curious and it said that you had to be less than 24 weeks. I would have been right around 24 weeks if it had miraculously happened this month. But it didn’t so all is well.

The weekend went off without a hitch. Our friends from NYC came down for what will be their last trip visiting us Friday night (they’re moving back to DC at the end of the month, yay!). They came in late and we all headed to bed. DH and I had had a productive evening cleaning our apartment, taking a jog around the neighborhood, watching Y Tu Mamba Tambien, and getting frisky after watching that movie. If you’ve seen that movie you can see why it would make you frisky….(at least for girls). It wasn’t quite DH’s cup of tea because of the raunchiness and the two kids making out at the end, but I liked it for the most part. I saw what they were trying to do with the movie and enjoyed its rawness. There is nothing wrong with sexuality and exploring it. Saturday morning we went to our flag football game and it was a lot more fun than we expected. We won the game! I made a few plays. Girls are required to be integrated into every third offensive play, so they have to do something with us. I enjoyed competing and meeting new people. I’m looking forward to the rest of the season.

After we got home, it was time for Oktoberfest! DH and I showered and then walked down. We met up with our friends a little while after being there. The first half of the day was spent going around to all the different beer vendors. I loved tasting all the beers! Later in the afternoon we had to report to volunteer. It turned out way better than last year. We had extra people so we got to take a lot of breaks and try a lot of different beers. We were able to chat with people because it was a lot slower. The only bummer was the after party which turned out really crowded so we didn’t feel like staying. All of our friends came over our place afterwards and we hung out and surprisingly drank more beer. All of this equaled a major hangover the next day, but it was fun and I think all of our friends enjoyed it.

Sunday was spent watching football and nursing our hangovers. I have a 4-day weekend next weekend and I can’t wait!

Hump Day

Ok, so it’s Hump Day. I haven’t done any blogging all week. I’m not really sure why. Work has been excruciatingly boring and tedious and maybe that has taken me out of the blogging mood. Long weekend was really nice. DH and I had a lot of fun in Annapolis. It was only one night but we had a great time. We went to lunch at a seafood place. We walked around the town. We toured a couple historic houses and had the tour to ourselves both times! That was really nice. I hate tours with a bunch of people. I need my space! Our hotel was really nice. We were supposed to stay in another one which is part of a little chain of historic hotels. I’m kind of happy we didn’t because on the haunted pub tour they told us this haunted tale about the hotel. As much as I don’t really believe in ghosts, I would be absolutely terrified I “saw” or thought I saw one.

The haunted pub tour was fun. It wasn’t as professional as I would have liked. Some of the stories were kind of lame. But it was still neat. DH and I ended up getting pretty drunk but we weren’t driving so it didn’t really matter. I was so hungover the next day! We pretty much stayed inside all day and did nothing because we both felt like crap.

So, the Redskins stink. They lost to the Lions who had a 19-game losing streak. Pretty bad. It’s depressing. I was irritated about the game and it pretty much ruined my Sunday. I swear I thought I was getting my period because I was so emotional, but it still hasn’t come. I can’t even use that for being a bitch.

DH and I got into an argument that ended with him throwing a shirt in my face. It was kind of shocking because he never does anything like that ever. Basically, I was trying to put laundry on the bed so we could it away but there was some other stuff on there. A few other articles of clothing that I wanted him to move (no particular reason why they needed them to move I just didn’t want things mixed up). I asked DH to do this but he kind of moved one thing but didn’t move everything. So I was annoyed and pick up the shirt and threw it towards him and threw the stuff on the bed. It wasn’t very nice and he was annoyed so he threw the shirt in my face which kind of hurt because it hit me in the eye. I left the room telling him he hurt me and that was not very nice (or something like that). He came a minute later and apologized profusely for doing that. I said I was sorry about throwing the shirt at me. All was well and no more arguing, thankfully.

So another interesting thing is that I took a HPT yesterday on a whim. I was planning on doing it this morning. Of course it’s a BFN. I haven’t been charting this cycle. I’ve been looking at my CM and I don’t think I even ovulated this month. Now I’m just waiting for AF to come so I can start over for this month. I’ve been practicing taking my temperature to get in the habit of doing it. So come on AF. I wanted to get started for next month!

DH and I going to volunteer at an Oktoberfest this weekend! We did it last year and it was a lot of fun. Free beer and food and we just have to pour beer for a few hours. Our friends George and Christine are coming down from NYC to do it with us and Emily and Matt will be there too. One of the best parts about the whole day is that we don’t have to drive anywhere because the festival is within walking distance of our apartment!

A trip to Annapolis…

DH and I had a nice weekend last weekend. It went by way too fast like always. Saturday morning I went to Macy’s to refill my Clinique acne solutions supplies. I was like putty in their hands. They have a free gift giveaway for October and of course I reserved myself a gift bag. We went to a flag football practice on Saturday. Our games start the first weekend in October. Then we hung out with friends Emily and Matt at Emily’s apartment (soon-to-be Matt’s apartment to). We watched college football all night. Sunday brought more football and some errand running. DH and I went in search of light jackets at Burlington Coat Factory. I can’t believe I had never been there before but they had great coats at reasonable prices. I got a light tan coat to wear in the fall and spring. I’ve wanted a nice light coat for a while and it’s nice to finally have one.

So DH and I decided that we were going to go to Annapolis on Friday for a daytrip since we both have it off. Well that kind of evolved into staying the night there. We should save the money for something else, but we’re going to try to be cheap. It’s amazing how one little night can excite me so much. We’ve actually wanted to do this for a while ever since we read about a ghost pub tour that they do like a year ago. We thought it would be really fun. Of course, it would require an overnight stay in Annapolis, because we don’t feel like driving back to Arlington after drinking all evening. I’m really excited about getting away for a night with DH and enjoying a fun night in Annapolis. We’re staying at a historic inn right in the center of town. I hope it’s nice.

I started a book the other day recommended by the some ladies on the Nest Book Club called “The Tea Rose.” It’s really great! I get excited about lunch when I can spend the whole hour reading it. I’ll probably be done with it in a few days. I picked up a few other books at the library for $.50 a piece. I love getting used books for cheap. DH’s picked up Omnivore’s Dilemma which was recommended by a friend. Although I know I should read it, I’m worried that after reading it, I won’t be able to eat anything but organic. He’s reading it and will pass on any important tid-bits to us, so that we can change our diet. We bought organic milk for the last couple of weeks and it is really tasty so I think we will keep that up. We’ll probably get some organic eggs next week.

I’m planning on going to yoga tonight as well. Gosh, I’m turning into hippie or as my BIL/SIL would call it, a granola. But whatever, I like this healthy living thing. It’s nice and I will keep it up as long as possible.

Our first baby related argument

So DH and I argued this morning because I took my temp at 3:30AM when I got up to go to the bathroom. The beeping disturbed him and kept him up all night. I find it hard to believe that his sleep was disturbed for the entire night. He likes to exaggerate things sometimes. But I should be understanding, I guess. He’s just very testy about his sleep. He gets more sleep than I do most of the time because he doesn’t have to be at work until 8:30AM and has a very short commute. There is a compromise somewhere in this situation. I just get annoyed with how whiney he is about sleep sometimes. It reminds me of when we first moved into together and DH would whine about being tired because he had to get up at like 7AM or something. Meanwhile, I’m working a full-time job and going to school in the evenings and getting much less sleep than him and yet not complaining one bit. Those days are long gone, but our argument reminded me of that this morning. We will figure out a compromise so that I don’t disturb his sleep.

But I did indicate that I was thinking about making charting a permanent BC method when we start TTA after our first baby and he started imagining his sleep getting disturbed forever and getting panicked. He likes to worry about stuff like that and start freaking out. I’m not going to let him get a terrible night’s sleep for the rest of our marriage but I want to be able to chart. We’ll figure out a compromise. I tried to explain to him that he might not have been able to get back to sleep last night because we had been drinking some wine earlier that evening and alcohol disturbs your sleep. So I’m not going to dwell on this anymore.

Ok, on to more interesting things **crickets**….I guess there are that many interesting things in my life. The boredom of going to work everyday is certainly getting to me. But that’s life I guess. Today is Friday, yay! I need to apply for a few jobs over the weekend. I’m going to start applying for positions within my agency but in a different office. I need to get out of this office as soon as I can.

So back to the argument (I tried) it is still leaving a bad taste in my mouth. I hate arguing in the morning (thankfully it doesn’t happen very often) because we never really have time to come to a resolution before I have to go to work. I wish I had an excuse to call him and talk to him, but he’s busy and I can’t think of any at the moment. I think that writing about it isn’t really helping anything so I’m going to stop.

On a more happier note we did have sex on the couch last night for the first time in like forever. While it is kind of sexy, it just isn’t as comfortable so we moved to the bed halfway through.

Grrrrr…

I’m so bored with work. I live for the weekends. I want a new job so bad but applying for government jobs is such a PITA. You spend like 3 hours writing out these essays on why you’re qualified for the job and then you hear nothing EVER. It is so time-consuming with very little results. But I need to suck it up and do it because a job is not going to just fall into my lap. I have to make it happen.
I’m happy that I have a paycheck that is pretty good but not happy with my job. I need to get out of this office. Morale is so low here and things have really gone downhill since our director and deputy director left the office.
But I don’t feel like talking about work anymore. Let’s talk about fun things going on in my life in the next month or so. There is an Octoberfest in our neighborhood village in a few weeks. We’re having friends come and stay with us the weekend of the Octoberfest and we’re all going to volunteer for it. Basically you volunteer and you drink for free the whole day. You have to pour beer for a few hours which is a pain, but it’s totally worth it. It will be nice to show off our neighborhood to our friends. We have a hard time getting people to come and visit us in our neighborhood because we’re not near a Metro.

DH and I are going to play flag football during the month of October with some friends. That should be interesting. It’s been a long time since I played any kind of sports competitively. My friend Emily is always inviting us to play softball but I have never taken her up on the offer. I’m a very competitive person, but I’m not sure how good I will be at flag football.

I think I will start teaching English as a Second Language classes in mid-October. I’m nervous and excited about that. This is way down the road but DH and I are going to New Jersey for Thanksgiving to visit his cousin and her husband. BIL/SIL are flying up from FL too so that should be a lot of fun! We have not gone anywhere for Thanksgiving in 2 years so I’m excited to celebrate with family.

Well hopefully I will get out of funk pretty soon. I think I am still stinging from the disappointment of not passing the exam and dealing with the realization that I’m not going to be leaving my job anytime soon.

Damn! The weekend’s over.

So DH and I had a long weekend and it was wonderful. We watched a movie Friday night “Doubt,” that was pretty good. Saturday we went to Antietam and then to Harper’s Ferry afterwards. It was a lot chillier than we expected which was the only drawback to the day. DH and I started visiting Civil War battlefields when he moved here. We’ve been to pretty much all of the ones within a 2-hour drive of DC: Fredericksburg, Chancellorsville, Wilderness, Gettysburg, Manassas, Harpers Ferry, and finally Antietam. DH is going to make a little photo album of all of our trips to different battlefields. Antietam was really in a beautiful location.

There were lots of Civil War re-enactors all around. It seemed like this was just a weekend activity for them. We drove around the battlefield and stopped at all the little stops and read about how the battle happened. We stopped for lunch midway through the day. We went to Harpers Ferry afterwards which is in West Virginia and about 30 minutes away. We had a nice time walking around the little town, getting ice cream, watching the re-enactors, and just enjoying our time together. Saturday night we just hung out and drank a little and watched college football.

Sunday was all errands in the morning. It included a trip to Target which was very productive but very stressful as well. I don’t like crowds at all, especially in grocery stores or department stores. They make me very stressed out. As soon as we walk in and there are people everywhere, my heart starts beating faster. I just don’t like it. I’m not sure why but it is a lot worse when I am with DH. It’s like when I’m by myself I can walk where I want and avoid people but when DH is there we have to travel together and I’m not in control of where I’m walking. DH is understanding for the most part. One highlight of the trip was that we picked up a pregnancy test in case I need it. I think that I will take one before I go to this beer festival on October 3rd because I would hate to drink a bunch if I’m pregnant. It was kind of neat to buy one and plan to use it! I’ve taken one only one other time, but looking back, it was stupid to ever think I could think I was pregnant. I won’t bore you with a narrative of our trip to the grocery store. After a brief trip to the pool, it was time for football!

Unfortunately, the Redskins look about as bad as last year. So many stupid mistakes…grrrr…they are so frustrating to watch. I wish I didn’t care. I guess there is always next week. I will have to cheer for DH’s team the Patriots. They have a much better chance of doing anything this year.

I'm going to teach!

So I have off work today and I just got back from meeting with someone about volunteering with an English as a Second Language class. It went really well and I'm really excited about doing it. I will get to teach a class some survival English and other random stuff. He said that the program is mostly about having fun and that they have a very laid-back atmosphere. It seems great. I was interested in doing this for a couple of reasons. First, I need to do something worthwhile and good. I don't really like my job very much and don't get much fulfillment out of that. The people that will be in the classes will really be interested in learning about the U.S. and how to survive here. Second, I think it will be a great experience that will help me when I take the foreign service exam again and it will look good on my resume. Third, it will hopefully help me to improve my oral skills even more. So overall I think it's going to be great! It's only two hours a week during the evening so it won't take up too much of my time.

The rest of today will consist of going to the gym and just chilling with hubs and hopefully some sex later on. It's rainy so I feel no need to do much. Last night was really nice. DH and I just chilled and had some cocktails and watched football. I was tired from the night before so I passed out on the couch pretty early. Some more interesting news is that DH and I booked a cruise to the Bahamas for his 30th birthday in February! BIL and SIL are coming along with a number of DH's friends. I'm really looking forward to it. It wasn't too expensive. The only thing that I will kick myself for was that we should have booked our plane tickets earlier. We hesitated a few days and it cost us like $100! Stupid, but I wanted to make sure that everyone was in on this. A couple of other people booked their tickets for the cruise so it looks like it's a go. SIL and I might be pregnant for the cruise so that should be interesting. I read online though that as long as we are not more than 24 weeks along we should be fine. Ok well I think I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off. DH and I are going to go to Harper's Ferry and Antietam tomorrow so that should be nice. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Sex off BCP=awesome!

Ok, So I’m back again. The last few days have been uneventful. I did have something happen last night that never happened before. I finished in a position other than me on top. The sex DH and I have had recently has been really great. I’m not sure if that is due to me being off BCP or not but it was really nice. There are a number of interesting side effects that I’m not sure that I can attribute to being off BCP or not considering I’m only 3 days off of them.
But I have noticed them all starting since Sunday. These include sensitive teeth, a weight loss of two pounds, greater sensation during sex (as described above), and a few extra pimples (I’m pretty sure that I can attribute this to being off BCP). I’m curious to see what other ones come about. Let me elaborate on the weight loss. While two pounds may not seem that big of a deal, it is a big deal to me. I’ve been trying for a couple of years to get back down to at least 135. I was at 141 a week or so ago and now I’m at 139! I haven’t been able to break the 140-mark in forever! I’m really surprised that I’m at 141 even considering I have not been working out that hard or eating that great especially on the weekends. I think that I can attribute this weigh loss to DH and me sticking to a pescetarian diet. It’s been going pretty well so far. I know that I will be able to stick it out, but I’m worried that DH is going to lose his resolution and want to go back to what we had before. We’ll see.
We are a one-car family for now (or it would be more appropriate to say a one-truck family). My car failed VA inspection and the emission’s test about a month ago and needs a lot of repairs in order to pass inspection. It’s a bummer but not life-shattering. We don’t really feel like putting more money into my car because it has no AC and we would have to get that fixed when we had a baby anyways. For now it is sitting in the parking lot hoping that some random cop won’t give me a ticket for having an expired license plate. I think we want to buy a new car eventually, but we don’t really need one right now. We can manage with one car since I take public transportation to get to work. What I would really like to do is trade DH’s truck in and my car and get a nice new or new-used sedan. But DH is really attached to his truck because he just finished paying it off a year ago. It is only a two-seater so it won’t be useful to have when we have a baby. A child won’t be able to ride in it until much later and by then it will probably be kaput! But whatever, I’m not going to pressure DH to get rid of it, even though it makes little sense to keep it. The only problem with having only DH’s truck as transportation is when we have family or friends visit without a car. We have no way to drive them around. For now, we don’t have any visits from people without cars on the horizon. So we’ll have to cross that bridge eventually.
I just have to add that I think sex with DH has been awesome lately because we both love the idea that us having sex could produce a baby eventually. Of course I’m not ovulating yet since I just finished my period a few days ago, but it is exciting to think about and has made it really awesome and passionate lately!

A cardinal sin...

So, I’ve committed the worst sin that a blogger can commit. I’ve neglected my blog seriously for the last two months. Lame I know. I went back to my old office where it is a lot more difficult to blog without being seen and I couldn’t justify spending the time blogging outside of work when I should be studying for the foreign service exam. So I told myself that I would pick up my blog again when the foreign service exam was over….
Well it’s over. I took it last Thursday. Unfortunately, I didn’t pass. But I did come close enough to encourage me to keep trying. I got a 5.10 and a 5.25 was a passing score. I was bummed definitely. DH was really nice and tried to cheer me up. We went and had a drink and got some Thai takeout. We hung out that night, watching the Redskins game and were cuddling. Then, we accidentally bumped heads going in for a kiss. It hurt and I felt stupid as I do sometimes when I’m clutzy. Then it hit me and I went into the bedroom and just starting crying. I was just depressed that I would have to start the process over again and that I would have to take the exam for a 4th time when I know friends who have passed it on the first time. I felt pathetic. DH came in and cuddled me some more and tried to comfort me. I think I just needed to cry it out and I felt better afterwards.

The rest of the weekend was pretty good. It was my first weekend free from studying so I did a lot of lazy things like playing Colonization (a computer game DH got me for my b-day) and catching up with Dr. Phil (I have DVR now so I can record them). I also did a lot of cleaning which was therapeutic somewhat. We also went out with our friends, Gary and Carrie Saturday night at a few bars in DC. Sunday we went to Busch Gardens with some other friends. Busch Gardens was a lot of fun, I wish we could have rode more roller coasters, but the lines got really long by the end of the day.
So now that the Foreign Service Exam is done and I won’t be able to take it again for at least a year, DH and I are going to start TTC. I took my last BCP on Saturday and I’m really excited to see what happens. I’ve thought about charting and I might do that eventually, but I think I will wait until at least next month. DH and I have been talking about baby stuff a lot like if we want to buy a house, a new car, and other stuff.

My summer was pretty uneventful for the most part. I’m sad that it is over. I love the warm weather and the long days. Our biggest thing for the summer was going to BIL’s wedding in Maine. We had a great time! The only hiccup was during our 80s night in Portland when DH chipped his tooth after drunkenly falling on the cobblestone! It looked pretty bad and would have been terrible for the wedding pictures. It was pretty terrible. We woke up the day before the wedding panicking, trying to find a dentist who could fit us in that day. I called a billion different dentists and no luck! Finally, BIL called their aunt who had worked for a dentist when she lived in Maine many years ago and was able to get him an appointment that morning! So we raced out of the hotel without even time to pack our stuff and just threw our stuff in the car. We got there in time and DH got his tooth fixed that morning. It looked really good and you couldn’t tell at all. The rest of the weekend was really nice. We actually ended up staying with BIL and SIL at the cabin the night they got married, even though we had a hotel which we paid for. They invited us too and it turned out great. We had so much fun dancing around after everyone left! I was a last minute BM but it turned out pretty well. I spent the night before the wedding with the rest of the BMs and DH’s aunt and we had a lot of fun.

SIL and I are different people with different interests, but she is really fun and I want us to get along. I think that the four of us will be really close and that is really nice. Now we’re both in a race to see who gets pregnant first. I’m not sure why they are TTC considering SIL is still working on her Bachelor’s degree and works at a restaurant but to each their own. I will be happy for them when it finally happens and I can’t wait to be an aunt….Well I think this blog post has gone on long enough today…I will end with this fun news. We’re going on a cruise to the Bahamas with BIL, SIL and a bunch of DH’s friends and their wives for his 30th birthday in February! We booked it yesterday. I can’t wait!

Sad and happy (but mostly annoyed)

So I'm sad because today is my last day at the office I've been working at for the past couple of months. I have to go back to my other office. I've really enjoyed working here and know that I've done a good job. I want to stay but they are under a hiring freeze so they can't just hire me. I will definitely keep a look out for any positions that open up.

I'm happy because DH and I are going to NYC this weekend to visit our friends Gary and Carrie and our other friends David and Jessica will be coming as well. It should be interesting because Jessica kind of gets on everyone's nerves. But lately David has been getting on my nerve so we'll see what happens. Also, I need to visit my BFF (gosh I forgot what name I gave her) I think it was Krystal who lives in Brooklyn. We've been kind of distant lately because sometimes I have a hard time understanding her on the phone and I miss half of what she is saying. I hate talking on the phone, but it's the best way to stay in touch. I kind of wish we e-mailed each other though or did video chat. I'm worried that she's annoyed that we're not staying at her place and a little bit annoyed with her that she didn't even wish me a happy birthday or even a belated happy birthday after I told her all of the fun things I did for my birthday. But whatever, I'll try to have a fun weekend with and everyone else.

They had a little happy hour in my honor yesterday at work which was nice. Then some of us went out for more drinks after work. I left pretty early because it was hot and I needed to go home and finish packing. I was a little annoyed that DH was obsessed with watching this show called "Pitchmen" that has Billy Mays in it. There was a marathon on and I had no interest in watching it. I can't think of lamer or more boring show than a show about how people make infomercials (totally judmental but whatever). He spent the whole evening watching it so we didn't really spend much time together or have any sex. Damn! We're going away for a whole weekend where I won't be getting any and DH doesn't even think about it. I didn't really try to do anything earlier in the evening, because I was running around doing things. Well the end of the night comes and DH is still watching his stupid show and I'm tired and have given up on sex. I tell him I'm going to bed. I mean the last time we had sex was Monday so it's not like it's been very frequent. It just annoys me that he wasn't even thinking about it. It's a little stupid that I'm annoyed about it. I just wish he wanted it more. I need to stop drinking during the week because that puts me out of the mood. I get tired and I know I probably won't finish because I've been drinking. We didn't get to talk about it at all this morning, because there wasn't any time.

So the whole thing is leaving a bad feeling in my stomach. I'm sure DH has forgotten about it by now. It's typical that I stew over an argument while he forgets about it and all is forgiven. He doesn't hold grudges nor worry unnecessarily like me. Our sex life is decent but not as active as I would like. I'm not sure why. We've been busy with random stuff and just lazy I guess. Well whatever. No point obsessing over it. DH and I will hopefully have sex on Sunday when we get back from NYC and it will probably be good.

Have a nice weekend everyone. I probably won't be blogging too much next week because I will be in training.

Happy Birthday to me...

So yesterday was my birthday. I haven't posted for a while because I've been busy at work and we had a guest staying with us. Overall it's been a pretty fun last couple of days. We went to the Moroccan restaurant over the weekend which was a great time! The decor was really beautiful inside of it and the food was delicious. I think everyone had a good time. We went to Emily's place afterwards and hung out on her rooftop pool. I drank a little bit too much and ended falling asleep in Emily's apartment while everyone played Rockband. We all jumped in a cab home so that was good. I felt pretty crappy on Sunday and after going into the city, slept for a lot of the afternoon.

Monday, I met DH and his friend in Georgetown for happy hour. Then we saw on the news at the bar that there was a terrible Metro accident on the red line. The pictures looked awful. It is just so unexpected and tragic. I feel so safe on the Metro. I hope they figure out what happened and make sure that it never happens again.

I took yesterday off for my birthday. I'm very happy I did because I really needed to get some sleep and downtime after doing so much running around. We went to a baseball game the night before so we were out late. After dropping DH's friend off at the airport, we went to the pool. DH never really likes to go with me because his skin is really sensitive in the Sun. I had a nice time hanging out with him at the pool, but he didn't stay very long. We went ice skating later on that day. I love to ice skate and it is something that I am actually decent at. I can go backwards pretty fast and go on one leg. I took a class in college so I know a few small tricks. DH is not as good, but he likes to go with me. We managed to schedule in some sex since we hadn't had time because of DH's friend being in town. Most nights DH and him had stayed up later than me since DH took off work. Later that night we went to the baseball game (Nats v. Red Sox) with Emily and Matt. DH was cheering for the Red Sox, which was kind of annoying. I felt for the Nats, because there were way more Red Sox fans there and my husband was one of them. Of course the Nationals lost, but not as much as the night before. We made it home at a decent time and DH and I were arguing silently. It was stupid.

I was irrationally angry with him for abandoning the Nats and annoyed at going to another game which they lost (I don't remember the last time we went to a game they won). Then he started bitching about how he had some rash from being in the Sun today at the pool. He said he didn't want to go to the pool anymore, which I thought was a little irrational. He had put sunscreen on (30 SPF). I said that maybe he needs to put a stronger one on or he could wear a shirt. But he wasn't really willing to compromise. We went to sleep after making up a little bit. This morning, supposedly, DH wanted to get up early this morning because he had been off work for the last 3 days and expected a lot of work. Well for some reason his alarm didn't go off at 6AM like he planned. I get up at 6:45AM like I usually do and DH says to me to wake him up 7AM. I'm like ok, so you wanted to get up at 6AM and then you get up late and instead of getting up at 6:45AM you plan on getting up later. I go back at 7am and he says get him up before I leave at 7:30am. So stupid. I don't get it. How he needs to get up at 6am but then he doesn't even get up until 7:30am because his excuse is "well the alarm didn't go off at 6am so my plan to get up early didn't work?". So it's either get up at 6am or get up 7:30am? He cannot get up anywhere in between? It doesn't make one iota of sense to me. But whatever, it's not really important. He's not required to be at his desk at 8AM, just responding to phone calls and checking his laptop.

It's stupid to be annoyed with him for getting up later and produces nothing but resentful, annoyed feelings for my commute that I take out on fellow Metro riders usually with angry glares. I can only think of a few reasons that I'm resentful towards him for sleeping late. First, we argued last night so I was hoping to spend some time in the morning talking to him and hugging him so that I could go back to work feeling good. But instead I was just resentful and had to force myself to be reasonable and give him a kiss goodbye. Second, I'm jealous that he is sleeping in comfortably in bed. It's hard to see him resting while I have to crawl out of bed and head off for work.

He did send me a text later this morning saying "I love you. I'm sorry we fought yesterday," which was nice. So I'm trying to get over this and let it go. I just wish it was the weekend. I kind of feel like I need a vacation even though I had yesterday off. Well, tonight it's back to reality and back to they gym. I've been eating terrible the last couple of days and I'm looking forward to getting back on track.

Something I never say...

So it's been a decent week. Tuesday, I had a good workout at gym. Wednesday, I went after work to a private screening of a movie called "The Stoning of Soroya M." Well after I saw that movie I have to say that I'm grateful that I live in country that stuff like that doesn't happen. For some reason, I hate when people stay stuff like that. Usually it is followed by some rant about how people in other countries do some crazy stuff. People that live in other countries do things different and have different customs but that doesn't make it wrong. However, the custom of some Muslim majority countries that a woman who is found guilty of adultery is stoned to death is wrong! (the girl in the movie was innocent of adultery but the trial was a joke) The movie was truly heartbreaking. You knew from the beginning what was going to happen, but it still somehow kept your interest.

SPOILER ALERT





What struck me as the most heartwrenching part of the movie was at the end when her aunt shouted to the village that her niece's story (the girl who got stoned) would be told and then I realized wow her story is being told. It's being told through a book that came out 15 years ago and through a movie that will be shown in theatres all over the world and it was told to everyone that was sitting in that theatre. She didn't die in vain. The stoning happened in Iran in 1986. This story was never supposed to leave the tiny village that she lived in. It did only because a French-Iranian journalist's car broke down outside the village and he had to have it towed to the village to get it repaired. This was the day after the stoning occured. The aunt secretly sought out the journalist and he recorded the story on a cassette tape. The mayor tried to stop the journalist from leaving town with the story but they were unable to stop him.

After seeing that movie, I'm so grateful that I have such a wonderful husband who would never hurt me, cheat on me or do anything but love me unconditionally. I'm also grateful to live in a country where my husband and I are equals. Yesterday, DH and I took a walk down to the village and got some ice cream. It was a nice break from the monotony. We were both exhausted because we had stayed up late the night before watching UVA lose in the College World Series.

The weekend is going to be pretty busy. Tonight, I'm cooking dinner for DH. To be honest, I really don't remember the last time I did this. But it is long overdue. Although not outright angry about it, I have a feeling DH is becoming a little resentful that I never cook. We have to do some cleaning for DH's friend who is coming into town tomorrow. Then tomorrow night it's my B-day party. Woohoo! I hope it turns out well. I decided to take my birthday off because there was no reason not too. We're going to a baseball game Tuesday night with DH's friend and then another game on my birthday with friends, Emily and Matt. DH's favorite team, the Red Sox, are in town. They don't usually play the Nationals so DH wanted to go to a couple games. It's going to be a busy week so I'm really happy to have Wednesday off to spend with DH. He always makes my birthdays special.

Decisions, decisions...

Hmmm....I'm kind of at a loss as to what to write here. I love my life but it is kind of boring at times. Our weekend was very uneventful, but we got a lot done. It was nice to just stay home and take care of things around the house. I went to the gym twice which was good and went to the pool both days. We're going to have a very busy weekend this weekend because DH's friend is coming into town. Saturday night is my birthday party with friends. I can't wait! I hope everyone has a good time.
DH and I decided to sign our lease in our apartment for another year. I guess this means we're not going to buy a house this year. But it's the best decision. We don't want to rush into house buying just because it's cheap. We don't want to get a place out in the middle of nowhere and give up our wonderful neighborhood. So we will diligently save until we have a down payment and closing costs and until we have some extra money as an emergency fund. Maybe if we can get a decent down payment we can buy in the neighborhood, but we'll see. We have about $900 left on one credit card and that should be gone by the end of this month. For some reason I'm not as excited about it as I thought I would be. It sucks because all of that money could have been a down payment. That's ok though. I need to just let it go and start anew. We're going to be smart about our money from now on. We're on the same page and we'll move towards our financial goals together.
As far as TTC goes, we will wait until we know the result of the Foreign Service Oral Examination, which I will take in early August probably. I will find out the day of the exam if I passed and then we can go from there. If I do pass, it would not be a good idea to start TTC, because it might delay the medical clearance and such. But if I don't pass, then I think we will probably start TTC then. So, really this exam will kind of decide what direction our life will take for the next couple of years. DH is really excited about it and wants me to pass. He's so great and such a wonderful guy. It is a big sacrifice for him because he will have to give up his job and either get a job at the Embassy (doing something probably not as fulfilling or exciting) or not work if he can't find anything. Embassy jobs for family members are hard to come by. Usually when married couples do this it is the other way around, with the women staying home, or they are both in the Foreign Service. But DH is not intimidated or threatened by my ambition. He knows that this is a dream of mine and he supports it wholeheartedly. It will be quite the adventure if I pass and we will get to travel the world together. DH is open-minded and easy-going enough that I think he would really enjoy it.
The only wrench in my plans is the thought of an unaccompanied post (I think they are voluntary for the most part, but I'm not completely sure). The thought of being away from my husband for a year is terrible. I know that plenty of people do it in the military. But it is not for me. I don't know how my Mom did it when I was growing up. My Dad was in the Navy and was gone for a lot of my young childhood. I would rather be in a different career than be away from my husband for a year. I hate to think that I'm dependent on him. I don't think I am. Being away from him for that long is not something that I really want to do ever. But I suppose if it comes up unexpected we will have to deal with it. I will do my best to avoid them, I guess that's all I can say.